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A job done by middle-class status conscious "keep up with the Joneses" types who only care that they are better than the person next to them. Typically, a law student is incapable of doing anything else except for English known to everyone. Since everyone passes the bar exam the market is flooded with these pathetic losers. Since they have no work to do, they make a lot of noise and become community agitators and try to tear down the society. They love defending Nazis and illegals.
Lawyer sez: I grew up in Brooklyn and wanted to be a lawyer since I was five. I have $500,000 in student loan debt and do doc review for $15 per hour but I am prestige. I am a counsellor at the bar.
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Lawyers are a sub-group of liars who can turn a given piece of evidence to have quite polar & opposite meanings depending upon their oratory or other skills in Court. Such skills are typically ambiguous phrases or animal sounds that are easily interpreted without clarity to mean all things to all hopeful parties without facts. Lawyers are the most dangerous of parasitic criminals being relentless, focussed in on all a Client's tangible assets & cash in hand neatly supported and thus protected by an ostensibly just Justice System of ex-lawyers themselves and law enforcement officers.
That lawyer QC offered a part time single parent teacher a pro bono Direct Access engagement stating "buy me a coffee if we win". The QC won then promptly chased her across three countries escalating his 'free' costs to £360,000 (2019 money), taking her home, her mother's home, her father's home and even her ex-husband's home then leaving her unemployed through disgrace but hey his integrity remains, because he lives by his words: "There are only two kinds of people: Predators & Victims.. don't be a victim!"
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When the crimes you commit are so bad that your lawyer needs to get a lawyer.
"My lawyer's lawyer said he can get my lawyer off so my lawyer should be in court for me."
"Your lawyer's lawyer? What the hell did you do?"
"Pissed on some Russian prostitutes, a little nepotism, raw dogged a porn star and lied about it, I am slumlord, used my political connections to profit personally, signed off on people using tax dollars to fund their personal trips, wrote down shit on some pieces of paper and forced others to live by it , tried to sue people who called me names after I verbally attacked them, I haven't paid taxes in 10 years, fired some asshole who kept trying to investigate me and my friends, grabbed a few random women by their pussies - hey they like it - , watched some teenage girls get undressed, sure as fuck am not renting my houses to black people, sold some fake diplomas to a few dumbasses, hired some undocumented pollocks in the 80's, rigged some gambling machines in my casinos, some jackasses claim I didn't pay them, a few fraudualant realestate deals, bought my own books with campaign dollars and kept the royalties, smuggles some models into the country so I could bang them - even married one of them, set up some tax dodging foundations, remember that Cuba embargo I bitch about that last jackass lifting - I totally violated it in the 90's, and I conspired with a government known to be an enemy of our country to influence federal elections. Nothing too bad, I don't know what they are bitching about."
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Barney: (To Ted) Do you have some puritanical hang up on prostitution? Dude, it’s the world’s oldest profession.
Marshall: You really think that’s true?
Barney: Oh yea, I bet even Cro-Magnons used to give cave hookers, like, an extra fish for putting out.
Marshall: Ah ha, so the oldest profession would be fishermen. Kaboom! You’ve been lawyered!
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A white guy you pay to convince the judge/jury that you didn't do it.
TYRONE BIGGINS:Yeah that nigga's fucked. The judge aint' gonna take it easy on a nigga.
Alexander:He be needin a laywer.
TYRONE: Nigga, what?
A: You know, nigga! Lawyer be some white dude willing to pretend to be your friend 'n shit in front of the judge so you ain't look so bad.
TYRONE: Aw yeah, he be like "Look, Imma white guy, and I'm aksin nicely to take it easy on dis nigga"
"Lawyer Commercial*
Some lawyer sounding voice: Here at Wilson in Wilson we know how it be for a nigga. Haters don't think it be like it is, but it do. But we do. I'm Greg Wilson, and I'll be your white guy.
TYRONE: Da fuuu...?
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A student in the laws of a sovereign body. To become a lawyer one must study the basics of the law for a specified period than pass a difficult proficiency examination.
To me a lawyer is basically the person that knows the
rules of the country. We're all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our
pieces around the board, but if there's a problem, the lawyer is the only person
that has read the inside of the top of the box. I think one of the fun things
for them is to say, "objection." "Objection! Objection, your Honor."
Objection, of course, is the adult version of, "Fraid not." To which the judge
can say two things, he can say, "overruled" which is the adult version of "Fraid
so," or he could say, "sustained," which is the adult version of "Duh."
- Jerry Seinfeld
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To win an argument so thoroughly, there is no chance of rebuttal
Oh Neil I lawyered you so hard there
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