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When it's wider around than it is long. As this prevents actual penetration from happening it forces the owner to pound around in the general vicinity of his target, hence the name mallet dick.
Lady: Damn he hit me with his mallet dick last night, I'm sore from my knees to my belly button
Word Association Game, Which each player must say a related word to one that was previously just said. The person who pauses or cant think of a word gets a bash around the head, often with a heavey object eg. a book.
The Game, Moisty's Mallet
EG.
Jack:'Football'
John:'Sport'
Jack:'Basket Ball'
John:'Net'
Jack:'Internet'
John:'Porn'
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Variation of "Asshammer". Somebody who exists purely to pound on ass (see "malletize"). Usually a gay man or somebody who is suspected of being gay.
Noah: I think Garrett likes the cock.
Chris: What an ass mallet!
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When a man fake tans his penis resulting in it looking like a rusty mallet. (alternative definition: A heavy hammer object left out in the rain.)
Mike struck me with his rusty mallet this morning.
Childrens TV presenter much loved by Tommy Boyd.
You love timmy mallet
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Of or pertaining to one with a vacuous mind, who perceives themself to be otherwise.
He is a mallet head; someone who couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.
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The act of injuring your genitals in order to avoid fucking an ugly person
I had to pull out the junk mallet before I took that butter face back to my house .