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The act of simultaneously wiping each of one's dual buttholes with each hand, separately, at the same time.
This occurs when one has dual dirty buttholes, two hands, and two pieces of toilet paper (preferably clean) and uses one hand to wipe each of the dirty buttholes (one hand per hole, NO SWITCHING!); one hand wiping in a circular motion, the other in straight lines (front to back or side to side, not both), thus achieving simultaneous ambidextoral coordination.
When you and your friend notice an attractive person at the same time and therefore must battle over who gets to introduce them self first. Usually occurs at party, bar, or similar scene where you are trying to pick up a babe (male or female).
Rules of Simultaneous Zisk:
1) When you both see the hottie, make eye contact with the other and yell "Zisk!" at each other. This initiates the game.
2) First person to smack the nearest door hinge wins.
3) Winner gets ten minutes to engage the hottie with no interruptions. Loser may intervene if after the ten minutes the hottie seems uninterested.
"Why are you standing so close the door? You're kind of in the way."
"Sorry I'm expecting Betty and I have to have a good position for Simultaneous Zisk. I just know Jordan is going to try an say he say her first."