I'd smash her pasty

I would have sexual intercourse with that lovely young lady over there.

"What do you reckon john, would you smash her pasty?"
"I'd smash her pasty, man, I'd go to greggs on that bitch!"

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smashed the pasty

a vague reference to an undefined sexual act.

Most likely to be a euphemism for masturbation.

Can also be used as 'smashing the pasty.' (To be in the act of.)

"I've just smashed the pasty on her face"

Smash Pasty's

A euphamism, mainly used in the South West of England to indicate the physical act of love making.

To make love; To smash pasty's.

"I smashed her pasty. Looked like a punched lasagne afterwards"
"I took 'im 'ome an aftur drinkin Frosty Jacks an watchin Countdewn we smashed pasty's"

Smash a pasty

To give a lady a jolly good seeing to.

I'm off out tonight, pull a bird and smash a pasty.