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Soccer Mom

30-50 year old white female, middle to upper class who drives an SUV/Minivan, thinks the world revolves around her 'perfect-angel' children. She lives the good life only because her husband is the success. She harbors feelings of inadequacy, and secretly (although she won't admit it) wants to be fucked by black men.

look at the next door wife

by jeff devlin July 14, 2004

1760๐Ÿ‘ 499๐Ÿ‘Ž


Soccer Mom

1. The enemy of every gamer/anime fan out there.

2. Middle aged women who drive their kids around from school to activities in SUVs and have absolutely no driving skils. I mean reallly. They cause most of the accident on the roads. They also try to cancel anything that has a message, such as anime, music, internet sites, video games, and love. These fuckers really need to be shot.

Me: Yeah, so I was listening to Green Day the other day, and-

Soccer Mom: Don't say that name around my children! I'm telling your mothers!

Friend: What the...fuck off, we're talking here!

Soccer Mom: OHMYGOODNESSHOWDAREYOUSAYSUCHAWORDTOMEI'MGOINGTOGETEERYTHINGYOUKNOWANDLOVECANCELLEDANDTHEN-

Me:(Pulls out gun and shoots) Bitch. Now where's my Foamy the squirrel?!?!?!

by yoyobling October 13, 2004

199๐Ÿ‘ 52๐Ÿ‘Ž


Soccer Mom

A mom who attends all of their child's soccer games, has has no clue about any of the rules.

Soccer Mom: C'mon goalie, chase the ball across the field!

by Jimbolicious7 March 16, 2015


Soccer Mom

a usually white, overly-rich, insecure jerk that hovers over her kids like helicopter moms. she usually forces her kids to attend some afterschool activity such as soccer (duh) or ballet. her kids are "little angels" and she loves them more than anything while in real life she probably wants to punch them in the face non stop. the soccer mom's looks usually range from -10 to 6. the are usually seen wearing some ugly exercise clothes, and driving some big-ass, ugly SUV or van when the only have one or two kids. soccer moms are the main cause of ESRB, the V-Chip, iPhones, tracking devices, drunk husbands, car accidents, traffic jams, bad parking, and asshole kids. when they come into contact with you, they will seem very nice and polite, but the seccond you turn around, they will say something bad about you and be jealous. also, most of them have southern accents and live in north carolina or any redneck state.

every time i go to school, there is a swarm of ugly Chevy suburbans, ford explorers, Cadillac escalades and any other overweight car. inside these cars are angry depressed women (Soccer Mom) abusing their kids and bitching them around

by lucasthegreat January 21, 2013

13๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


Soccer Mom

A white middle-to-upper-middle class woman, generally aged 30-55. Has the requisite 2.3 kids. Usually the product of a loveless childhood and an equally loveless marriage as the trophy wife of an up-and-coming executive or professional. Motto is "my kids are my life". Refers to her kids as "my Precious Little Angels" (PLAs) or "God's Gifts to Me" (GGTMs), and believes the entire world exists just for the benefit of her PLAs. Terrified that child molesters are lurking behind every bush, and that gays are determined to "recruit" her PLAs. Obsessed with whatever is the latest "danger to kids" being promoted that week on Oprah or Dr. Phil or the latest Parenting Magazine. The Soccer Mom is constantly badgering school officials and politicians, promoting the latest "nanny law/regulation" to protect the GGTMs. Usually fundie or conserviative Christian with a cult-like obsession, and makes sure her PLAs participate in choir and church soccer camps (hence the term: "Soccer Mom"). Extremely controlling of the social life of the GGTMs, repressing all independent thought, and all signs of non-conformity. The GGTMs teen years are marked by Ritalin and trips to high priced child psychologists. The PLA daughter often grows up to be an XXX rated porn star, while the PLA son becomes a transvestite drummer in a punk rock band.

The Soccer Mom has been the artistic inspiraton for outstanding movies such as "Diary of a Mad Housewife" and "The Betty Broderick Story". Also classic songs such as "Harper Valley PTA".

by frantic1971 March 25, 2010

28๐Ÿ‘ 6๐Ÿ‘Ž


Soccer Mom

Retarded bitches who would protect their children from Video Games, Movies, Anime, Internet and just anything that contains the words hell or damn (I know these aren't swear words of course). They would yell at anybody who mentions anything about them. Even at a librarian who just lets someone know that none of that content is available (I'm glad I don't have such a overprotective mother).

Me: Excuse me but is there any manga here?

Librarian: Sorry. This library does not carry manga or anim...

Soccer Mom passing by: HEY! YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT STUFF AROUND MY KIDS!!!! OR I'M...

Librarian: SHHHHHH!!!!

Soccer Mom: *Who was dumb enough to think that the librarian was going to say the word "shit"* DON'T YOU SAY THAT KIND OF LANGUAGE!

Me: *takes soccer mom outside, 50 feet away from the library and casts Blazemost (a Dragon Warrior spell)* Silence is golden bitch!

by StraightFMan February 15, 2005

103๐Ÿ‘ 36๐Ÿ‘Ž


Soccer Mom

A 25 to 45 year old woman, usually caucasian, who drives her "precious angels" around in a giant miny van. They censor anything fun such as gta and cod. Internet is what she calls "hell" because she's too stupid to teach them internet safety. Her children are a girl and a boy, both of whom got to some after school activity or another. They are usually dumb, slutty, and a bitch/asshole when they grow up. Her husband is some lawyer or a doctor who makes more more in a week than some people do in 3 months which is a crying shame. He is always on a "buisiness trip", fucking his secretary. The children can't see or hear ANYTHING BAD or they will grow up to be "poisened and scarred". I think they shelter them too much, they need a healthy dose of reality. And so do the parents.

I was sitting in the mall food court with my friend, talking about GTA SA and how I stole cars and killed people and stuff. The soccer mom was like, DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT IN FRONT OF MY KIDS, and I was like, it's just reality. You gotta accept it. Go some where else then.

Fucking stupid soccer mom

by Tea MCBAGGER June 12, 2011

17๐Ÿ‘ 4๐Ÿ‘Ž