black tense

The tense that employs and combines the present, past, future, present perfect into one tense.
This tense was very popular during the 1950's and 60's.

John: "Hey Marquis what are you doing after school today?"
Marquis: "I is will have done going to complete my thesis on electron migration throughout the subatomic nuclei"
John: "Thats swell Marquis, I sure do hope you finish on time."
Marquis: " I is will be going to have fina done it on time or Miss. Madison sure is going to be mad with me."
John: "Golly Marquis you sure are one responsible chap. I like the way you use that darn black tense."

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In The Past Tense

To kill or end something completely, typically in a very absolute and forceful way.

When that burglar broke into my house last week, the ol' 1911 put him in the past tense.

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money-tense

Speaking as if you had money.

Similar to speaking in past-tense or future-tense.

Sorry, I was talking in money-tense.

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Fucking tense

being Tense more than usual,

I am fucking tense right now because my boss is about to fire me.

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Not Even Tense

A Phrase which can be used in many cirumstances though originally used to enhance the point that your penis is very big, by inferring that its huge even as a semi lob on.

Usages

1. To infer the size of your penis
2. To infer you manliness
3. To remark that were unphased by a situation

1. Yes laydees, and thats not even tense
2. *Flexes Guns* Oooooh not even tense
3. *Knocks a man out with a single punch* Not even tense

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Tactical Ab Tense

Blowing all the air out of your lungs and tensing your abs as tightly as possible, to the point that you can barely speak. This is generally done at pool parties or the beach, in order to look like your waist is smaller and your body fat is lower than it actually is. This is particularly used by shirtless people when a photo is being taken of them or when their crush is nearby.

Greg: Dude do you want a beer
Terry (in a quiet, strained voice): Dude I can't talk, Jenny is over there so I'm pulling a tactical ab tense.

past present tense

The proper form of a verb that is both in the past and present.
Though largely unknown, this tense is good english, as recognized
by the ISO (International Standards Organization)

1. The morbidly obese man "plupped" onto the couch, seductively "slupping" from his Big Gulp cup.

2. The adolescent boy metaphorically "jerzzed" at the thought of the next Star Wars film.

All completely legal usage of past present tense.

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