Random
Source Code
Random
1. Noun. An small furry animal that ignores you when you want to pet it, and bothers you endlessly when you're trying to get shit done, or when it's hungry. Cats are generally even tempered and calm. They spend most of their adult life sleeping and eating. Cats require little energy, as all they ask for is a bowl of food twice a day and a warm place to sleep. You do not need to walk a cat or spend hours a day spending time with it. Cats are excellent animals for dorm or apartment life, and are perfect for people with busy lifestyles. They adapt to change quickly and require little money to keep. Cats can reduce stress levels, as there is nothing more relaxing than watching and petting a warm, sleepy cat. If you do not feed your cat too much, it will also keep your home relatively free of vermin, including mice, rats, a few roaches, moths, flies, and anything else it can catch. Be warned though, cats have a genetic attraction to computer keyboards. They will often walk around/sleep on a keyboard, and have a tendency to push the delete or backspace button (A cat once deleted half my term paper by doing this.) However, the bad behaviors of a cat are greatly outnumbered by the good. A cat will bring 5 joys for every one mad (lolspeak). Many are in need of a good home, so please go get yourself a cat.
Mike: What the hell is that?
Steve: It's my cat dude.
Mike: Really? It's so quiet, compact and warm. I like it a lot.
Steve: Yeah, ever since I got this cat ladies love me, I get better grades, and my penis is bigger.
Mike: Wow! I think I'm gonna get a cat.
Steve: Be warned though. This cat deleted my Thesis paper on the Industrial Revolution
Mike: That's okay. The good points of a cat far outweigh the bad ones.
Steve: Damn Straight.
379👍 75👎
A fluffy piece of flesh that lives in your house. There are many varieties of these small creatures, some are cool and almost act like dogs - others are just evil bastards that piss all over your house and make your life a living nightmare.
Cat Person 1: My Cat is of the nice variety and loves me every day!
Cat Person 2: My Cat is of the Bastard variety and pisses all over my house every day!
Cat Person 1: (stares akwardly)
84👍 13👎
cats are liquid because they can take the shape of any container they’re in (like liquids do)
A quite pleasant furry creature that vaguely resembles a meatloaf. Cats are the most intellectually superior creature on Earth. They are particularly adept at training human beings to do their bidding, and spend 18 hours a day on average apparently sleeping. What they are really doing is coming up with ways to take over the Earth while still retaining humans to make that yummy cat food for them. If cats had opposable thumbs, they, not us, would be the dominant force on this planet.
"Is that a meatloaf???"
"No, it's my cat!"
5320👍 1331👎
evil fluffy muffin bent on world destruction and is very cute
29👍 5👎
The Felis Catus is specified as a minuscule domesticated carnivore with the qualities of retractile nails, advanced flexibility, and a conical pinna and external auditory meatus. In other words, a cat is a cute, chubby purring thing good for falling asleep on your lap so you can't get up and shedding all over your brand new yoga pants.
I have a fat cat named Mr. Chubby. He's cute, and loves cat food.
96👍 19👎
If you heard digga d’s daily supply you might have heard the bar “left that place when (cats) called why, we all sell drugs it’s natural” the meaning cats in street terms means nitty or a crackhead or a person desperate for drugs
Teraime-“yo bro the cats callin me right now should i fake a illness and go welfare try leave school and start shotting”
Jamal-“yh bro you do that g”
72👍 20👎