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stones

refers to the degree to which someone will stand up for them self or what one is responsible for, or, the degree to which one will go to get the job done. At work, having stones can be career-limiting if the company you work for values yes men instead of people that can actually get something done right. On film or TV, action heroes typically have major stones. However, you can have stones but no brains, which can lead to disastrous consequences if your timing sucks.

Employee (with stones) to Boss (without stones): "Dude, grow some stones and push back on these stupid requests - they are just wasting my time! I can't get this code written in time, you idiot!"
Boss to Employee: "You're FIRED! But, uh, no, uh, wait, that might get me in trouble because you're the only one who knows how to do this job. Uh, what should I do?

Jack Bauer on Fox's 24 has some major stones to stop terrorist attacks pretty much all by himself. In real life, it takes all 170,000 employees of the Department of Homeland Security to thwart these attacks.

Husband to Wife at a mixer: "Go get me another Bud. Oh, and you need to pick up the pace on those back rubs – I could use one right now, woman, my lower back is killing me."
Wife: Stunned
Wife’s friend to Wife: “Your husband is a jerk. Sounds like it’s time for some more Exlax brownies for his lunch.”
Wife: “You got that right - he still thinks the last batch really was a mint chocolate brownie mix.”

by workinglate February 27, 2006

463👍 130👎


stoned

To be under the influence of marijuana. Usually associated with bloodshot eyes, the munchies, and unexplained laughter.

I was so stoned last night I watched my dog eat a ham sandwich like it was cool.

by scoburn July 29, 2003

2847👍 986👎


stones

Slang for the testicles ... balls

I put the stones to her last night.

by RobbieJ February 26, 2004

282👍 87👎


Stoned

a time when you come up with the funniest quotes in the world and your a fucking genious but dont remember any of it in the morning...

See the movie Blow w/ Johnny Depp.

by DW April 4, 2004

1984👍 749👎


stoned

The ultimate state of mind.

Scooby Doo is an awesome show when you're stoned.

by SuperSonicX June 4, 2005

3734👍 1439👎


stoned

under the influence of marijuana, in a zone where every looks good, tastes good, and when you just feel happy about everything.

"last night i was so stoned but i was still so happy about life its self?

by Angi Childs January 18, 2004

69👍 20👎


Stoned

The very slow, yet rapid course of time in which you may find yourself reading and creating these definitions for words that quite simply seem to be the most hilarious thing you've seen in a recent while. (The word "egg" for example, let it sink in if you are high at the moment)

Contrary to popular belief, you will not be "raiding" the kitchen, and refrigerator, rather, you will likely see a Quiznos commercial which will either A) Remind you of the cold cuts you have in your refrigerator and proceed to make yourself 5 sandwiches, as you will not be able to tell when you're "full", or B) you will immediately rush to the nearest Taco Bell, because at one point you will forget why you got in the car, at which point a Taco Bell will present itself along any major highway.

You will be less likely to go to the movie theater, as instead your first person experiences will be as if you are viewing yourself through a television set, so watching movies will only cause you to lose control of yourself, as you will be uncertain of whether you're watching a movie, or whether you're watching a movie of a person watching a movie. (That person, being you)

You will giggle when I remind you of the word "egg", and that will cause you to go onto some intellectual brainstorm about things completely unrelated to eggs, such as poison dart frogs, discovery channel's Deadliest Catch, or how you managed to read all of this definition.

Guy 1 : Dude, have you ever wondered about how the universe will end one day?

Guy 2 : Hell yes I'll go for some pizza.

*A frequent conversation between stoned guys*

by okmijnuhbygvtfcrdxesz July 5, 2009

398👍 146👎