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Theology Class with Mrs. Maraglino gives frees.
Yeah, that's a pretty egregious conflation of ontology and theology.
Hym "Yeah, see... My problem with theology is that it posits the assertion that life is a morality test designed by a guy... Who gave us the answers TO the test... And now all we have to do is use the answers he gave us... TO the test HE GAVE US... So that it doesn't have to burn us forever... For not using the correct answers... That he gave us 2000 years ago... In an act of DIRECT DIALOGUE...
With a guy who died 2000 years ago... And this guy is the last and ONLY guy to have ever spoken to it... But I also shouldn't worry about it... Because I am inherently guilty... While SIMULTANEOUSLY preemptively forgiven... And that means NOT that I won't be burned forever... But that it wasn't going to forgive the inherent guilt (at first)... But NOW it IS going to do that... So, I WAS going to burn forever initially... But it changed it's mind... And now... As long as I just shut up and use the test answers I was given... It won't burn me forever... Instead of the thing it was GOING to burn me forever for... Initially... The inherent guilt I mean... Which is not a thing I ACTUALLY DID... But a thing some dumb bitch who doesn't do what she's told did... And her doing THAT is somehow cosmicly makes ME guilty of the thing SHE did... But not anymore because we murdered the test-guy... Which is what we were supposed to do... As part of the test... And I also have to do weird breeding rituals... And the guy gets to murder me once and how well I receive it determines whether or not I'm burned alive forever. It deliberately wastes .0000-01 of an eternity that you will never get back and then it sends a semi-sentient teeth torpedo at you and shreds the flesh from your skeleton. And this is what I should both serve and worship. That's your theology."