Thread a needle from 10' away

When someone has such profuse diarrhea, a shotgun blast from the ass could thread a needle 10' away

Oh man, Jenny is shitting like a tiger! If she wanted too, she could thread a needle from 10' away!

Threading the needle

Putting a nail on the floor and falling on it so you end up sounding yourself

I was at a party and I had to play threading the needle