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TOFTS

abbreviation of "Too old for this shit"

a friend asks you how you are

"oh same old mate, but i think i caught a bad case of TOFTS lately"

by OldManChild July 6, 2023


Tofting

The act of being smothered (or smothering) under (or with) the buttock cheeks, anus and scrotum / labia of a fellow participant in some sort frothy sex play. Named after Danish Footballer Stig Tofting during his FIFA World Cup outing of 2002 who was a bullish no-nonsense type who's brutalisit appearance suggested he might be partial to a bit of "Tofting" himself.

In practice, the Toftee is positioned under the Tofter's "junk", inserting his or her nose into the rectal cavity, with mouth pressed firmly against the pre-genital fatty tisue. This causes the Toftee to be smothered and starved of oxygen, aiding in the additional practice of erotic asyphixiation.

Subtle variations of Tofting can involve "humiliation" by the controlled release of flatus, "poop games", "clamping" and "stuffing".

Harry and Meghan frequently relaxed by indulging in a spot of Tofting. Megan usually Tofted the young ex-royal, and occasionally added some extra frisson by inviting celebrity friends such as Divine, Sir Elton John, and Butterbean to join in.

Or:

Pats Fan: "Wow, Brandon Moore totally just Tofted Mark Sanchez"

Jets fan: "I hate my life!"

by Cap'n Stevie February 2, 2023