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On your laptop you mistakenly select "Shutdown" instead of "Sleep". Windows begins the update process and request that you do not power off or unplug your computer. This usually occurs when your preparing to leave the library after a long night of studying.
Girlfriends text: "Hey you want to come over?"
You text: "Sure...leaving the library and will be there in 5 minutes!"
<Time Elapse>
Knock Knock...
Girlfriend: "You're 3 hours late..."
You: "Sorry I got update ambushed right when I was about to leave"
Girlfriend: "Oh no! Are you alright?"
You: "Yeah I'm fine."
Girlfriend: "What are you supposed to do?"
You: "Well usually I give up, smoke a bong full of Fruit Loops, and head to bed."
Thanks Microsoft!
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A debilitating psychological condition which affects computer users everywhere. Update addiction has to do with the excessive downloading of software updates and should not be confused with an Updating Whore. You are likely an update addict if...
You click "Software Update..." (on Mac) or "Windows Update" (on Windows) more than three times a day.
You cannot resist buying the latest version of software or operating system -- even if you don't need, want, or even care to know about the new features.
You click "Check for updates" every time you run a program.
You stay up late watching the progress bar to make sure your latest update "really updated."
You get frustrated by stable software because it doesn't require updates every other day. So you always choose beta or nightly builds to ensure that you can download a maximum number of updates.
Dude: Dang! I just clicked Software Update, and it didn't find anything to update. What am I going to do???
Chick: (rolls eyes) Dunno man. Click it again?
Dude: Ok.
Chick: You need help. You have update addiction.
Dude: Ok, but before I go to the clinic, I need to go buy XYZSoft5. I only have XYZSoft4.
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Something Minecraft needs instead of bees
Tim69420: We need a cave update r/caveupdate
Mojang: no
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When you're playing a video game and two players kill each other simultaneously. Originally from Gears of War 2, when title update 6 was introduced and it became possible to kill each other at the same time.
Guy 1: "Aww man we killed each other!"
Guy 2: "Get updated!"
Whenever a computer updates itself constantly and you either repeatedly tell it "remind me later" or "don't update" and the computer continues updating itself anyway
Man 1: My laptop keeps updating even though I tell it no
Man 2: Dude, you're being update raped
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The way Microsoft finds out that your copy of Windows is pirated
"Windows Update" has determined that your installation key is not valid, and therefore setup cannot proceed. Contact your system administrator for more information.
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The thing I always cancel, yet seems to appear with a message when I shut down that says Windows Update "(not responding)"
Oh damn, windows update is not working again. Who Cares. "Would you like to send an error report?" Hell no!
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