chill your dick

calm down.

Susan: "yo man! im suuuuper excited to get this shirt."
Jim: "chill your dick, its not that great."

22👍 3👎

Lying on your dick

1. Lying about having sex with someone or having sex promiscuously.

2. Lying about giving/receiving sex to/from someone.

MAN: Your ugly homegirl said she hit me last light. What's up with that?

WOMAN: I know she lying on your dick. Don't worry about it.

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Counting Your Dick

A phrase meaning to do nothing, often with a negative connotation.

The noun equivalent would be a Dick Counter.

Dude, its so nice outside today, why not stop counting your dick and go outside?

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Hold Your Dick

Wait. Plain and simple. Acceptable mixed gender alternative is "hold your donkey". Either way, it's #HYD.

Bruce: Gary, carry my beer to the car.
Gary: Bruce, hold your dick, I'll be right there.

13👍 2👎

smell your dick

A figurative term meaning to check if someone is being honest. Comes from Riskay 's song "Smell Yo Dick" about checking for infidelity, but has since come into usage in a business setting.

Jimmy: "So we are giving you exclusive access to this special deal for $35k since you are our absolute favorite client."
Peter: "Johnson, can you call up Willy from Cox-Zucker and see what they were offered?"
Jimmy: "Wait, what? You don't trust me?"
Johnson: "Willy confirms an offer of $29k."
Jimmy: "Well I never! That's preposterous!"
Peter: " Sorry buddy, had to go ahead and smell your dick on this one. And it stinks. Well, so much for this deal. Later, Jimmy."

13👍 2👎

tuck your dick

1. Something said to discourage unnecessary boasting about masculinity/macho-ness

2. Instructing one to shut-up/calm the fuck down

Girl: Hey, what's up?
Boy: Just blasted 100 reps of 50kg chest presses. Warm-up done!
Girl: Tuck your dick, fool.

Girl: OMG INSTAGRAM GOT A NEW UPDATE AND NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT FILTERS TO USE TO MAKE MY SELFIES LOOK HOT??!!?!
Boy: Bitch, tuck your dick.

9👍 1👎

Open your dick

A term of slang a woman will tell a man who is bad mouthing her. In a moment of fury when you can’t get the proper words out, “open your dick” is a quick alter to “open your mouth.”

“Open your dick again and I’ll hit you”

“I’m from the North End and if you want to open your dick we can fight about it”