creepy patient

when you know you have the capacity to become completely psychotic and aggressive but are smiling, acting meek and agreeable

A young hard working girl in social media anxiously waiting for a promotion said, "I have been creepy patient waiting for my promotion."

9👍 1👎

Cancer Patient

A cancer patient, usually abbreviated as "CP", refers to someone that puts in more than sufficient effort. It's a more derogatory form of the word "tryhard".
Its reasoning is that cancer patients in real life have to try very hard to overcome their cancer.

Why are we losing this game?

Because we're playing against absolute cancer patients.

12👍 2👎

Menstrual Patient

A variant of Mental Patient, an irrational craziness besets women during their period, and they are transformed into bleeding mental patients.

"Gloria has completely lost her shit. One minute she was laughing, then she burst into tears, and finally she stabbed Frank with a spoon! She's acting like a fucking Menstrual Patient!"

8👍 1👎

Mental patient

A mental patient is a person who wants to see one of their collegues at work fired (or see their contract not extended, etc.).

They try to get their target paranoid, and if the target doesn't become paranoid, they try to make it look to the other collegeues as though the target is paranoid, they will try a devil's switch, which is where they fuck something up and make it look as though their target fucked it up, and they will try and ostrecise the target from others in the company.

They often work in groups, accross companies, and target the same individual.

The mental patient targetted George. He had to move to another company, then another mental patient started giving him shit, so he moved to another company, and he was targeted there too.

All of the mental patients had been in contact with each-other

21👍 7👎

Patient girl

A female patient at the hospital.

The patient girl would whine about how all the students were looking at her twat the wrong way during a pelvic exam, until the hospital staff and students began to lose their patients.

Patient Funk

This all-encompassing term is used to describe any one of the many contagions, odors or bodily fluids that potentially fester upon a patient (typically a physical therapy patient). When a particularly rampant cold spreads through a healthcare clinic, it can often be attributed to "patient funk." When one's sweater smells like feet after a hard day's work, blame patient funk. When a foul odor wafts through the waiting room, across the gym, and into the charting room, one can be sure there is patient funk to be shared...

Thing 1: Dude, what's this brown crusty stuff on my khakis?
Thing 2: Ten bucks says it's patient funk. Hope it's not poo.

or

Thing 2: I've had this cough for 3 months now. WTF?
Thing 1: Yeah, you got patient funk from that shoulder patient who came in with pneumonia in January.

Patient Zero

In work or educational organizations the first person in the organization with a contagious disease who winds up infecting over half of his or her colleagues.

With this year’s office cold, Sammy was patient zero.