Amuse-douche

A single serving portion of being a douche. An act of douchiness from one who is normally a non-douche.

Sorry baby for being an amuse-douche last night. You know I usually don't slick back my hair and quote Carrot Top.

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Amuse bone

The act of having sex prior to enjoying a large meal; so as to enjoy both acts at the optimal time.

Women: "I made us a reservation to have the 12 course tasting menu at Manresa on Saturday at 830pm."

Man: "Great! Should we plan to Amuse bone beforehand since we'll be tired and full after?"

amuse-bouche

1. a small appetizer meant to tease the palate before the meal

2. a small amount of sex ("amuse the bush") at the start of the day that is not enough to satisfy but to tease before the main course later in the day

1. "The crostini with pan-seared fois gras was a delightful amuse-bouche."

2. "Yep, I woke up at 7 but had to leave the house at 7:15 so we had a 5 minute amuse-bouche before showering and going to work- can't wait for the main course."

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Amuse douche

1. Someone, whom you likely don’t know, that is such a douchebag that you find yourself entertained by his or her antics.

2. Someone, whom you likely know, that is such a douchebag that you are required to find humor in their douchiness in order to maintain your sanity.
3. A situation of either of the above.

1. Charlie Sheen is an amuse douche. His “winning” breakdown was so out of control that I found the whole thing hilarious.
2. My best friend’s husband is an amuse douche. He is so controlling of her and such an ass to me that I have to make fun of his bullshit just to maintain my composure around him.

3. This morning’s commute was a total amuse douche. To begin with, I was late getting out of the house. Then I got stuck behind a car that refused to go over 15 in a 30 zone, and once I finally passed them and thought I had free sailing, there was a massive construction backup on the freeway. I was over an hour late to work, and I could only laugh at the stupidity of slow drivers and the state’s inability to post pre-construction notices as I was trying to explain to my boss why I had missed the meeting.

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amusement-itis

AMUSEMENT-ITIS is when you can’t seem to make someone laugh, even though you have made them laugh in the past.

Example:
“I just told a joke” “Yeah but it wasn’t funny”
“But I have made you laugh multiple times before, I must have AMUSEMENT-ITIS.”

Amusement Co.

This awesome band that contains the four most attractive men, talented musicians, best lovers, charismatic leaders, and successful businessmen on the planet. They write folk music... or something.

Person 1: I saw this band the other day playing folk music. Or something. I can't remember the name of the band though.
Person 2:Were they the four most attractive men, talented musicians, best lovers, charismatic leaders, and successful businessmen you've ever seen on the planet?
Person 1: Why, yes, they were, do you know them?
Person 2: Yeah it's the Amusement Co.

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amuse booze

A small fancy drink at home before you go out to drink more.

I'm going to have a glass of champagne as my amuse booze before I go to brunch for more drinks.

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