couldn't be rat-arsed

In other words, couldn't be bothered.

We tried to get him to send in the form on time, but he couldn't be rat-arsed.

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Sorry, we couldn't find:

the annoying ass text that appears with shruggie: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sorry, we couldn't find: sorry, we couldn't find:

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I couldn't care less

The classier (and cleaner) way to say "I don't give a fuck", "I don't give a shit", "I don't give a crap", "I don't give a damn", etc.

(Do NOT confuse it with I could care less. If you *could* care less, it means that you can reduce the amount of fucks you give!)

"The Dvorak Keyboard lets you type comfortably because the keys are positioned so that the fingers can-"
"I couldn't care less."

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couldn't catch shit in a diaper

1. An athlete who simply cannot catch the ball

2. A fisherman who has suffered through a rough day on the seas with nothing to show for his effort.

3. A guy who has absolutely no chance of succeeding in landing a girl when he hits the club at night.

1. Dwayne tracked the ball well enough, but since he couldn't catch shit in a diaper, he dropped the ball.

2. James couldn't catch shit in a diaper, and now his family has nothing to eat tonight.

3. Pat weighs in at about 350 pounds, so he couldn't catch shit in a diaper at the 9:30 Club.

I couldn't care less

A phrase that emphasises the lack of care for something or someone. Often mistaken as 'I could care less'.

David: Quick Bert! Muffles the kitten ate some mothballs, and now it's foaming out it's mouth; WE NEED TO GOTO A VET!

Bert: I couldn't care less about your God-Damned Cat right now.

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couldn't lie straight in bed

This phrase is used to mean that somebody is very dishonest and lies a lot.

As if anyone believes what s/he said, the wo(man) couldn't lie straight in bed!

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Couldn't lead a dog on a leash

Total inability to act as commander, director, or guide; Complete failure to show the way to by going in advance

Jacques Chirac a good leader? He couldn't lead a dog on a leash.

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