Random
Source Code
Random
An E-mail started to scare people. In the past they were filled with scary images of what could happen if you did not send to the desired amount of people. Now they are filled with sad stories or jokes that have a tag along that tells you have to send to desired amount of people or something bad will happen.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ugot
Ugot Who?
Ugot to send this to 15 people in the next 12 minutes or your balls will fall off.
34👍 1👎
Officially, the misuse of employer provided e - mail.
Practically, something that you get accused of when your work want you to leave / block a promotion / sack people without paying redundancy costs etc.
Usually ends with being hit with the disciplinary hammer, generally with a view to sacking your ass.
Employee is called to a meeting and presented with a pile of e - mails.
Manager:
We've audited your inbox and these e - mails are completely unacceptable and represent e - mail abuse and a breach of the Code of Conduct.
What did you mean when you wrote 'I'd smack that back door' when writing about my PA?
HR Manager:
Think carefully about your answer. Sexual Harrasment and non work usage of electronic media is a dismissable offence.
Employee:
I was referring to her great ass and saying I'd like to show it love. I thought it was flattering.
Manager:
That's not an appropriate way to behave in a disciplinary hearing.
HR Manager:
I refer you to your e - mail asking Joe if he had seen the murmur pants on display in Finance. What are murmur pants?
Employee:
You should know. You told me.
HR Manager:
This isn't about me.
Employee:
It's a tight pair of female pants that mean you can see the lips moving but you can't hear a sound.
Is there any point in continuing this discussion?
HR Manager & Manager
No
11👍 1👎
The act of sending numerous e-mails or posts in a short period of time.
Example 1
Anthony: That's the 8th e-mail from Tom this morning!!!
John: Yeah!! He's aiming the ol' e-mail cannon at you bro!!
Example 2
Stephen: You want to troll the Rick Astley message boards?
Matt: Yeah, hold on!! Let me set my e-mail cannon to stun.
Some junk mail that says if you send it to 50000 people then your crush kisses you 3 days into the future.
Person 1- "I heard Catherine got a chain E-mail that said she would get kissed by Bob yesterday....so she asked Bob to kiss her."
Person 2- "What did Bob say?"
Person 1- "He called her stupid for believing that crap and didn't kiss her."
Person 2- "Ooh... ouch."
A FOIL (F-Off I'm Leaving) E-Mail is a short e-mail you send to all your co-workers to tell them you have to ditch work for the day, for reasons you are not going to disclose but are most likely related to sunny weather, holiday shopping, or a hangover.
Elements of a "FOIL E-Mail" are described below:
Hello all, (#1, greet everyone cheerfully).
I 'gotta roll. (#2, state your intentions with confidence.)
A personal emergency has occurred, important. (#3, vague excuse that sounds important.)
Joe "Tequila" <= (#4, friendly signature with nickname)
"I did not have implants, I just had a growth spurt."
"Britney Spears" (#5 - cheesy quotation under your signature to create distraction.)
25👍 4👎
Mail sent to scare you, or to waste your inbox's storage. They never work and should be considered as offensive as spam.
Jay:I got a Chain E-mail telling me to make a wish and forward it, and by doing that it will come true.
Zach:Yea, did it?
Jay:Fuck no! I wished that people would stop sending me them.
Zach:You got another one then I'm assuming.
Jay:Yea, as soon as I sent it there was another one about dieing if I didn't send it to 56971.3 people.
Zach: HO'SHIT!
18👍 4👎
A string of unwanted responses to a people-wide sent e-mail that are both unwanted and unnecessary. E-mail avalanches usually start with "RE:" These annoying e-mails usually trickle in all day, and if they occur at work, they have little to nothing to do with any important or pressing issue.
RE: Last Night
From: Katie
PLEASE stop these e-mails! I feel like I'm buried in an e-mail avalanche. Too many flakes starting an avalanche.
RE: Last Night
From: John
Food sucked!
_________________________________________________
RE: Last Night
From: Bill
Loved the music. Awesome jobs!
_________________________________________________
RE: Last Night
From: Becca
I concur! Absolutely awesome!
-Becca
_________________________________________________
To: Company Employees
Subject: Last Night
Great Party!
-Sally
_________________________________________________