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Drinks their way through college for at least four years, playing computer games, smoking pot, masturbating and never having sex, ever. Learns the theory for incredibly complex subjects within one relatively sober week of the exams. Studies one particular subject in another sober week to get a really fancy sounding job that is 1% challenging and 99% telling a technician to press the reset button. Makes a lot of money for doing that and then, of course, starts having a lot of sex.
Gets really annoyed if people don't optimize space utilization when filling a dishwasher.
Knows what every single cable behind your TV is for.
Has a hammer, duct tape, and cable ties close at all times, but is not necessarily a serial killer. Although engineers make great serial killers.
Interviewer: So what do you know about spectroscopic ellipsometry?
Engineer: Spectroscopic ellipsometry employs broad band light sources, which"..... *15 minutes later*.... and thus the film properties are characterized.
Boss: Welcome to the team, you'll be looking after all these machines
Engineer: I look forward to the challenge
Technician: Hey this machine is messed up
Engineer: Press the reset button
Technician: OK it's working now
Engineer: Sweet *Returns feet to desk*
44👍 8👎
A talented individual responsible for the design and creation of all man-made objects in the known universe, as opposed to a scientist who attempts to make new discoveries about the universe. Engineers do not do much in the way of manual labour; those tasks are allocated to skilled tradesmen. Engineers are involved in the design of everything from oil tankers to staple removers.
For example, a scientist in a lab may discover a new metal with certain properties. An engineer would then take this material, incorporate it into a design, where a welder would then implement it into the machine/device.
Society depends on engineers with their lives just as much as they depend on medical professionals. It is the responsibilty of an engineer to make sure a bridge will stay up, a car will drive straight, and that planes will remain airborne.
Engineering is broken down into many streams. Mechanical engineers would be involved with things in motion, such as a car, or jackhammer. A civil engineer would design bridges and buildings, and other static structures. There are many more streams, which I will not list here.
Often, people without any engineering credentials will append the word "engineer" to their job title. This is because there is a sense of importance attached to the word. Practising engineering without proper certification can get a person sued by a lot of people very quickly.
Engineering is also a term used to describe an action that is similar in nature to engineering, albeit in a non-professional manner. An example of this would be a "social engineer," which is a person that would do something like use a friend's computer to MSN another friend, and start insulting themselves in order to see what that person will say about them.
I wonder which engineer developed the night vision for Paris Hilton's video.
Aerospace engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets.
Boy: The sanitary engineer came to my place early this week.
Girl: Yah, those garbage truck drivers are so unpredictable!
656👍 184👎
someone who solves practical problems
If building stuff isn't solving problems then the engineer don't know what is.
59👍 10👎
A hard major that results in a good job in the end. Only problem is that there aren't enough girls in engineering.
We need to encourage more girls to take up engineering so that engineering guys can get laid.
274👍 73👎
The perfect superhuman.
Usually ripped on by others for using university for it's original intention, to study.
When arts students come across an engineering student they will usually make a weak attempt at a joke, as they are intimidated by an engineers superior intelligence.
Arts student: Hey look its an engineering student... i uh.. i uh bet he doesnt do the sex!
Engineering student: Sorry, how much can you get paid from only having your arts undergrad?
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One who lives by the motto "If it ain't broke, take it apart and find out why".
What's the difference between an engineer and a scientist? When engineers are wrong they get sued.
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1) More useful to society than an insurance salesman.
2) More useful to the arms industry than a big bucket of grenades.
3) More likely to use statistics than 345% of the population.
4) Enjoys overcomplicating things.
The aerospace engineer is the guy in the plane who is whimpering quietly and looking worried.
594👍 187👎