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Boner Negotiation

When you have a throbbing, pulsating boner but she is still talking about her mom, so you breathe deeply through your nose and fight off the ape within.

My unwillingness to make a move on Alyssa led to me having to perform Boner Negotiation on myself.

by TheFirmHandshake May 16, 2020


Pillow Negotiations

That time between when you've just had a fight with your "lover" and the after sex "pillow talk".

"I hate you!" "You never take me out anymore!"

"You never ask!"

"I didn't know I had to ask!"

---- Pillow negotiations, both parties have realized they had some fault in this matter, so begins the "negotiation" of getting into bed and making up..

Pillow talk follows

by Melofawesome August 27, 2012


negotiated reality

When you tell a whopper of a lie with the expectation that people will believe a part of it. Similar to how things work in the real estate industry where someone who is trying to sell a property for $1 million will set a $1.2 million asking price. A politician might tell you that 4 US embassies are about to be attacked. Although no US embassies might be at risk, by lying and saying that 4 embassies were about to be attacked, you might walk away thinking that at least one embassy was at risk.

One person on the left will say 0 embassies were at risk and the other will say 4 were at risk, so you end up thinking that an embassy was at risk because 1 is between 0 and 4.

The fact that we believe even a kernel of what Trump says is negotiated reality.

by dc_united_99 January 19, 2020


Non negotiable

Something an annoying PE teacher says.

I can’t stick this up my ass.
PE teacher: but that’s non negotiable to keep it outside your colon.

by Rheumatism December 17, 2019

10👍 8👎


Faucet Negotiation

An attempt, when one is using an automatic touch-free faucet, to prevent the faucet from turning off before one is finished washing his or her hands.

I can't get that touch-free faucet to stay on. I tried all my Faucet Negotiation techniques: I moved my hands higher then lower; I moved my hands closer to the faucet then further; I hit the faucet. Nothing works. I still have some soap on my hands.

by O-town daddy November 9, 2013


negotiating the pussy

1) an act where a man tries to cock block the next fellow who is about to sleep with the woman he is about to break up with/ leave town/was only fuck buddies with.

2) an act where a man who is lacking lead in his pencil is trying to slow the inevitable union of another man with the woman he could not satisfy.

3) the feigned act of a cuckholden man that is trying to protest the lust drive between what he thinks is his woman and the cock she wants.

Look clam jacker, the two of you may have had something, but that is clearly over, so stop negotiating the pussy and get some cheetos because you are not killing this game!

by ~namaste~ January 7, 2010

3👍 4👎


Secret Diplomatic Negotiations

"Secret Diplomatic Negotiations" is a comical euphemism for anal sex. It was coined over at www.apennyforlenny.com, based on a Jeopardy clue.

The clue was from the category "BACK" TO SCHOOL. It was:

SECRET DIPLOMATIC NEGOTIATIONS ARE SAID TO GO THROUGH THIS”

The answer was "WHAT IS THE BACKDOOR?"

"Could I interest any of you ladies in some Secret Diplomatic Negotiations?"

"Yeah, me and Becky Diplomatically Negotiated in Secret all night long."

"If you're ever in prison, watch out for the Secret Diplomatic Negotiations that happen in the shower."

by An Interested Party August 14, 2009