Two Ton Paperweight

a 4000 pound piece of shit car referenced on Psychostick's cd "We Couldn't Think of a Title"

My Two Ton Paperweight always dies.

11👍 2👎

Electronic paperweight

1. When your phone is in a place where it doesn't have service.

2. When your phone has been cut off due to lack-of-phone-bill-pay

1.
Guy 1: Dude, want to go camping?
Guy 2: Sure, but I'm not bringing my cell phone
Guy 1: Why not, bro?
Guy 2: The lake is a dead zone... My phone is an electronic paperweight up there

2.
Guy 1: Brosef, I tried calling you yesterday but it went straight to voicemail... Turn your phone on!
Guy 2: It is on, but I forgot to pay my phone bill. My phone's an electronic paperweight right now

Paperweighting

When a bureaucracy reaches a level of red tape such that it runs in a full circle.

Usually involving a lot of "not my department" and ending, after much effort, back where one began in the process.

This occurs at such a level that not only does it benefit no-one, but it actually costs everyone in the chain.

The term derives from the subjective feeling of unnecessary, nonsensical paperwork actually crushing your chest like a weight, effecting breathing.

1. "Government made emergency funds available for a crisis,

but the b*tches are still paperweighting me; Ima bout t kills a b*atch"

2. Phone call-Line-form-line-phone call-"Charlene"-office in person-line-processing-ID required-lost-relodge-office-line-phone-form-online form-deletion for reapply form-months delay-enquiry form-phone-"Charlene-form..."

dutch paperweight

A sexual act where one farts onto another while the victim is lying down. The fart paralyzes them, acting as a paperweight.

I gave Jane the Dutch Paperweight. It was really boring during the sex.