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An evil creature typically found in healthcare; who’s life purpose is to hypnotize and lure young Firefighters into marriage only with intent to file for divorce and steal half their hard earned retirement pension.
Rookie: That hot ER nurse gave me her number. Should I ask her out?
Captain: Keep it in your pants probie, she’s only after your pension.
Rookie: how do you know? She said she’s into me.
Captain: She can’t help it. She’s a Pension Witch. She’ll sell your motorcycle and use the cash to buy into a Pyramid scheme.
A game for multiple people where one person takes a confused OAP and leaves them somewhere random. It's up to the others to find the Pensioner before they starve to death.
Steve: How's your grandad?
Dave: Didn't you hear? We were playing Misplaced Pensioner and just didn't get to him in time
n. The benefits one may retain after peacefully breaking up with their boyfriend/girlfriend.
Thew: Am I entitled to a relationship pension?
Carmen: Are you on crack??
Thew: C’mon, why not?
Carmen: You called me a trifling cunt not more than two days ago. Consider me Enron!
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Pension benefits may be established when a couple breaks up but they continue to have repeated sexual encounters with eachother afterwards for an extended period of time until such time that either or both parties are in a new and exclusive relationship, although in many cases the benefits may continue even in such circumstances, where the benefits are held in a trust by and on behalf of either or both parties to be accessed under certain conditions (such as when in the future neither person is party to an exclusive relationship or when a recipient of the benefit is unaware that the other is in a relationship or when a particular fact does not exclude the entitlement to receive a benefit according to the rules of the benefits held in trust even if their behavior is slutty, promiscuous, and morally reprehensible).
Ryan: Alex, I'm breaking up with you.
Alex: okay.
Ryan: Let's fuck like rabbits!
Alex: Hell yeah, pension benefits!
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When people around you start to retire and you come to the awful realization that, despite a lifetime of working you have no money saved and no plan for your financial future other than work. In other words, the closest thing to retirement in your future is death.
"Honey, we won't be relocating to North Carolina after retirement next year. I've been diagnosed with a pension deficit disorder, and I'll be working until I die instead. Maybe you can relocate after you collect my life insurance payout..."
miserable tight old cunt who cant afford to buy a round of beer
person 1: oi its your round
person 2: i cant afford this im a old age pensioner