shoulda coulda oiled

An expression used in situations where one could have avoided a poor, destructive, or unpleasant decision by smoking hash oil instead. Kind of like the V8 commercials, except replace V8 with oil.

Guy 1: I got drunk and totaled my car last night. I feel like such an idiot.
Guy 2: Shoulda coulda oiled.

Guy 1: Man, yesterday sucked. I had to meet Jenny's parents and they totally hated me.
Guy 2: Shoulda coulda oiled.

Guy 1: I can't believe Bob overdosed on heroin. He had his whole life ahead of him.
Guy 2: Shoulda coulda oiled.

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shoulda bought a honda

When somebody makes a stupid decision that they thought was right, but wasn’t their sarcastic friend tells them ‘shoulda bought a honda’ as something to say when they made the wrong decision

Man: I just bought this new car, but on the second day I had it, it broke down. Maybe I should have just listened to you!

Friend: I know! Shoulda bought a Honda! That’s whatcha get!

Man: Nah Honda’s aren’t my type of car— maybe a Chevy Impala would work out this time!

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Shoulda Doubled Down

You really shoulda doubled down, man

Me: *wins game of blackjack and doesn't double down*
Literally everyone in the room: "Shoulda doubled down, pussy"

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Pimp's Shoulda

A mang with clean shoulda's becuz they brush der shoulda's off.

Jorelle: Damn nigga you got pimp's shoulda's.
Jamal: That's how we roll in the clean norf nigga. Let's go score some crack!
Jorelle: Mos def nigga i haven't smoked dem rocks in two days! Nigga!

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Shoulda Stayed Down, Chack!

A phrase used when someone does something stupid, or something goes wrong.

Person 1 trips over.

Person 2: "Shoulda Stayed Down, Chack!"

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Shoulda had'an iced tea

Shoulda-S
Had'an-H
Iced-I
Tea-T

Maggie: your mother-in-law is coming to visit.

Keylin: Shoulda had'an iced tea

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fuck me stupid, shoulda been running.

Similar in meaning to “Boy, am I a dumb ass,” this advanced application of “fuck me running” is to be used in situations which were originally a surprise, but now have recurred over and over again, and the fuckee (that's you) has still not had the sense to leave.

As in: “I still have a joint checking account with my girlfriend. Well, fuck me stupid, shoulda been running."

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