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A furry animal that hides in the tiniest of spaces just to jump out at you and scare the hell out of you.
Martha jumped when Tard the Grumpy Cat flew out of the laundry basket. Martha hated those kinds of cats.
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cat: *evilly* meow
me: so sorry sir, let me feed you
cat: *purrs*
me: i love you too
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Depending on who you ask, they are the epitome of evil, the cutest thing alive, satan's babies, ninjas, ninja-satan-babies, those animals they don't give two cruds about, living rugs, fur with claws, claws with fur, teeth with fur and claws, teeth with claws, teeth with fur, fur with teeth, what you shouldn't step on, a catto, the stupidest things alive, the future world rulers, the things trying to kill you in your sleep, the things trying to protect you from the things trying to kill you in your sleep, aliens, carnivourous monsters, little angels, everyone's best friend, the bane of all existance, the thing that sits on you at three in the morning, or just a cat.
I am sure I have missed at least 500 other definitions of cats. Publish your own description to fill in what I missed!
First person: There were feral cats in my backyard the other day.
Second person: Satan's fur babies!?!?!?? Where!?!?!?? * pulls out crucifix *
First person: Woah, calm down. Cats aren't satan's fur babies, they're ninjas. When you look for them, they're gone......
Second person: * muttering ancient chant to ward off evil *
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A cute and cuddly friend that will comfort you and entertain you. Cats purr when happy and meow when hungry. Cats are also a mans best friend not only dogs.
My cat ate hugged me with joy when I came back from my vacation.
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1. Noun. An small furry animal that ignores you when you want to pet it, and bothers you endlessly when you're trying to get shit done, or when it's hungry. Cats are generally even tempered and calm. They spend most of their adult life sleeping and eating. Cats require little energy, as all they ask for is a bowl of food twice a day and a warm place to sleep. You do not need to walk a cat or spend hours a day spending time with it. Cats are excellent animals for dorm or apartment life, and are perfect for people with busy lifestyles. They adapt to change quickly and require little money to keep. Cats can reduce stress levels, as there is nothing more relaxing than watching and petting a warm, sleepy cat. If you do not feed your cat too much, it will also keep your home relatively free of vermin, including mice, rats, a few roaches, moths, flies, and anything else it can catch. Be warned though, cats have a genetic attraction to computer keyboards. They will often walk around/sleep on a keyboard, and have a tendency to push the delete or backspace button (A cat once deleted half my term paper by doing this.) However, the bad behaviors of a cat are greatly outnumbered by the good. A cat will bring 5 joys for every one mad (lolspeak). Many are in need of a good home, so please go get yourself a cat.
Mike: What the hell is that?
Steve: It's my cat dude.
Mike: Really? It's so quiet, compact and warm. I like it a lot.
Steve: Yeah, ever since I got this cat ladies love me, I get better grades, and my penis is bigger.
Mike: Wow! I think I'm gonna get a cat.
Steve: Be warned though. This cat deleted my Thesis paper on the Industrial Revolution
Mike: That's okay. The good points of a cat far outweigh the bad ones.
Steve: Damn Straight.
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A fluffy piece of flesh that lives in your house. There are many varieties of these small creatures, some are cool and almost act like dogs - others are just evil bastards that piss all over your house and make your life a living nightmare.
Cat Person 1: My Cat is of the nice variety and loves me every day!
Cat Person 2: My Cat is of the Bastard variety and pisses all over my house every day!
Cat Person 1: (stares akwardly)
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cats are liquid because they can take the shape of any container they’re in (like liquids do)