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Titty-fucking your flat chested 2nd cousin.
Also known as Amish Surfboarding
I’m going to a family reunion next weekend and chances are I’ll end up riding an Amish Surfboard.
A level 5 sex move, in which the core concept is to ride your lady friend down the stairs. Below are what you need to know in order to complete the act:
Preparation-
Take your partner to the top of a staircase, and proceed into normal sexual procedures, with you positioned behind her. It is also recommended to use lubricant and have vaginal intercourse in order to maximize the ease of you pulling out your penis. When you are ready to proceed to the act itself, proceed to the steps below (pun intended…)
How to perform the Silver Surfer Surfboard-
• If her arms are under her, grab them and hold them to her back.
• Kick her legs out from under her, and simultaneously pull your penis out.
• Immediately after she assumes a position where she’s laying flat, step on her back with one foot.
• Immediately after the previous step, grab her arms and pull them towards you.
• Then, kick off with your other foot and then immediately move it onto her back as well.
• Finally, if you feel confident, you can let go of her arms mid-motion and stand up, you have just completed a silver surfer surfboard!
*Note, the larger your partner is, the larger her back is, meaning you will have more area to stand on. Therefore practitioners new to the act are recommended to utilize fat women as partners.
Aftermath-
Immediately call the nearest hospital and claim your partner fell down the stairs. If you don’t, your partner may not consider doing the act again, because she will be dead.
I just gave Margret a Silver Surfer Surfboard.
Going to the swamp, and "surfing" on a gator with your toes hanging near the gator's mouth.
Bob: Hey, buddy! How was your weekend?
Buddy: Oh, you know. Just hanging ten on a southern surfboard.
Bob: Damn. How many toes did you lose?
Buddy: surprisingly, only 2. Garry Gator is getting used to me.
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An object or person who is completely and utterly worthless
- My bloody computer crashed again last night and I couldn't send those important emails
- Yeah, sounds like that thing is about as much use as a surfboard with handlebars
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A flat chested 2nd cousin, particularly one that you have titty fucked, or have interest in titty-fucking.
Dude, I totally rode a Amish Surfboard at my family reunion last weekend.
1. When a surfer has the runs/explosive diarrhea and is waiting for the next set (of waves) too far from the beach to make it to a bathroom and "let's it go" while sitting on his or her board
2. A sex act where two wangs or sex toys are simultaneously inserted into a butt at angles so they come together in a point past the sphincter and the two wieners or dildos outline the shape of the front of a surfboard
Brodie was super embarrassed when he went back out too soon after eating Indian food and ended up with a rusty (surf)board.
I heard you and your buddy ran a rusty surfboard on your girl the other day. She must be super chill.
When a guy cums by gliding his dick along a butt crack, usually the bottom is laying face down and he is lying on top, no insertion, just an external prone bone between butt cheeks. Works for both straight and gay sex.
Surfboarding is girls at the spa is the safest and most soul satisfying way to cum.