Leonellus theorem

"If you can't say it on Twitter (or X), don't say it."

According to Leonellus' theorem (or X's theorem / Twitter's theorem):

- If you don't think you can say it on Twitter, don't say it.

- If you think you can say it on Twitter, think again.

- If you can say it on Twitter, then all is well.

According to Leonellus theorem :

Case 1 : "Hey man, you're such a society's waste", don't say it.
Case 2 : "I think black people must not live in Europe", think again.
Case 3 : "I love everyone", everything's fine.

Lanhard's Theorem

From any page in Wikipedia, it will never take more than 5 page-link clicks to access the Wikipedia article on Hitler.

Examples of Lanhard's Theorem:

Donut -> World War II -> Hitler

Antidisestablishmentarianism -> Britain -> World War II -> Hitler

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Drizzy's Theorem

A physics theory created by none other than DrizzyJeremiah himself. The theory states that for a person playing a Computer Game, their Luck is Inversely proportional to their Skill at the Computer Game they're playing. Although this rule only applies at constant ping.

"Damn, I didn't get that sick skin from that CS:GO Loot box"
"DW fam, remember Drizzy's Theorem? It just means you're good at CS"
"True, but I don't think my ping's constant my guy"

Gucci Theorem

The hypothetical law that prevails when discussing hypothetical or potential future scenarios. It forces one to consider a possibility, without the consequence of potential death as a bias. The theorem considers the sensations or experience of any given event rather than the baseline consideration of death.

Scott: Would you ever wanna experience Pearl Harbor? Like right when the Japanese attacked?
Alan: nah dude that's fucked up. Not tryna die
Scott: Gucci Theorem bro, you won't die you just gotta be there.
Alan: oh fuck yeah, maybe take a few tabs

Ogilvie's Theorem

A theorem concocted in 2021 by notable cultural historian Brian W. Ogilvie, claiming that '30 - 5 + 1 = 24'. Widely ridiculed on websites such as Twitter and Tumblr for being so notoriously incorrect. The post has since been deleted.

Damn, did you see John in class today?
Yeah, he aced that section on Ogilvie's Theorem!

bayes' theorem

A theorem that states allows you to find the probability of the condition of an event given that the event occurred. Can also be used whenever there is a hard math or physics problem.

Marty: This is a very hard geomapping problem
Timmy: Use Bayes' Theorem
Marty: wait why
Timmy: Baycause it is Bayes' Theorem

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Pythagorean Theorem

The Pythagorean Theorem states that if Pedestrian A attempts to cross in front of car B at anything less than a 90 degree perpendicular angle, we can conclude that Pedestrian A is getting cut off.

"John (the model citizen) used the Pythagorean Theorem to determine it was faster to cross the road in a straight line, rather than diagonally."

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