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that book by stephenie meyer which caused the vampire genre to be classified as a "teenage love-story" instead of "badaas stories of hardcore blood drinkers". teenages girls eat this shit up for some reason.
Teenage Girl:OMG ILOVE TWILIGHT EDWARD IS SO HOT!!!1!!!ONE!!!!11!!!1!
Chuck Norris:*roundhouse kick*
Mr.T:SHUT UP, FOOL!
Kool-Aid Man:OH YEAH!
346👍 68👎
A series about vampires that is guarenteed to make you 25% dumber each time you read it.
1229👍 276👎
A Young Adult Fiction book/series with vampire thrown in for the hell of it. Is commonly (and wrongly) mistaken for a fantasy book when it is clearly not. Many teenage and (sadly) child girls have become sucked into the fad that it Twilight and they have no idea what a real vampire is because the vampires in Twilight sparkle in the sun instead of burning and they do not have fangs.
Also, the main girl cannot think for herself
Fangirl: OMG!!!!! I LOOOOOOOOOVE TWILIGHT!!!! IT'S SO REALISTIC!!!!!!!! I WANT AN EDWARD!!!!!
Normal, non-obsessed girl/(more likeley)boy: Uhuh, riiiight
22👍 2👎
A cliche, overrated, horrid series based on a wet dream of a woman named Stephanie Meyers. A 107 year old virgin vampire (he sparkles!) named Edward falls in love with a clumsy, unattractive girl named Bella, whom many believe to be autistic. He thinks she smells good and watches her sleep. Werewolves and mean vampires try to eat her because she smells just so delicious. But Edward won't eat her because he is a vegetarian! So instead he just randomly grabs her hand out of nowhere and takes a nice big whiff of it. Bella keeps almost dying as various vampires rape, track down, and videotape her. After three nauseatingly awful books, the last one finally comes out where Bella turns into a vampire, Edward gives her a C-section with his teeth, and they have a demon child the vampire mafia wants to destroy. They name in something equally retarded as 'Jasper' or 'Carlisle', some members of Edward's family.
There. I just saved you three weeks of your life you could never get back.
You're welcome.
"Twilight is gay."
"Edward's shiny diamond skin turns me on!"
"I can't live without my perverted old boyfriend."
"I'm danger, stay away."
"I want to eat you."
457👍 104👎
Twilight is a novel and four book series that claims to be a "saga" for false advertisement. Twilight has no actual plot, it strays from its own cannon that it creates, the main characters are cliché and lack developing personalities, and it is void of any spiritual and intellectual value. It lacks in the 7 literary standards of literature and is thus bad literature. Twilight is basically a cash cow, not uncommon in early 21st century mass media. It is Mormon propaganda that slips in sexist standards of men and women , abstinence only views, and false ideals of love into the underdeveloped minds of adolescent girls. It is the incarnation of Stephanie Meyer's ultimate sexual fantasy.
Twilight is told in the point of view of a "boring" "ordinary" clumsy teenage girl named Bella Swan who moves to Forks. Bella is evidently a bitchy, selfish, shallow self insertion Mary Sue. She has no actual personality flaws and her clumsiness is ostensibly a Moe weakness.
For reasons unexplained to the readers, everyone at her new school likes her on her first day at school and five guys fall in love with her, including Edward Cullen. Edward is a "vegetarian vampire" and sparkles in the sun light. He is perfectly beautiful, has no weaknesses, and is an immortal century old virgin with the appearance of a 17 year old. He is a Gary Stu. Bella and Edward fall in love with each other for reasons unexplained to the readers. Bella apparently loves Edward because she is obsessed with his perfect good looks and Edward apparently loves Bella because she smells good. Thus their entire relationship is based on obsessive sexual attraction. In fact, the whole world of Twilight revolves around their relationship.
Edward is over an abusive controlling stalker that watches Bella in her sleep. Bella excuses Edward actions as being “over protective”. Bella is utterly dependent on Edward, so much that she goes into a chronically depressed and suicidal state when he dumps her.
"Bella got a 90 on the Mary Sue Litmus test. Edward got a 124. Twilight belongs in fanfiction.net."
"Twilight raped vampire lore."
"Twilight is for lonely fat girls who shop at Hot Topic and illiterate rabid fangirls who will pluck your eyes out if you don't agree that Twilight is better than Shakespeare."
"Twilight is shit."
633👍 148👎
A book written by Stephanie Meyer.
The majority of the book is dialogue and lacks any use of literary devices and/or elements that truly make a story. With little to no description and two-dimensional characters that are the very definitions of "Mary-sue" and "Gary-stu," this story belongs on fanfiction.net, not in bookstores.
She can't go five minutes without talking about how gorgeous Edward is, and it's clear she's living out some sick, fangirl fantasy and getting money off of it.
It's popularity is only based on the fact that Edward Cullen is supposedly "godly" and the sexiest man alive. He's fictional and practically grey colored. Get over it.
Bella is stupid. She's whiney and clingy, like most Mary-sues. Edward is has no personality. He needs to just bite the stupid girl already and get on with his sparkly-suicidal-vampire life.
Love stories are great, this however, is garbage. The way they fall in love is stupid and shallow and based on looks and lust alone. What kind of message is that?
It's trash. Pure trash.
Please, go take an AP Lit class or pick up a novel by Austen or Hurston and you'll understand...or maybe you won't, Twilight Fans tend to be lacking in brain cells.
Fangirl: OMG EDWARD CULLEN FROM TWILIGHT IS SOOOOO HAWT I WANNA MARRY HIM!
Nonfan: I don't think vampires are supposed to sparkle though....
Fangirl: OMGWTFASLDFJAOSDIHWEONALSDGKLAHDSG!!!! EDWARD IS TEH AWESOMENESS!!!
Nonfan: ...And the book lacks any form or real character development...
Fangirl: OMG EDWARD IS SO HAWT STFU!
Nonfan: Uh...I think I'm going to go call 911...
5955👍 1529👎
The worst book to ever grace it's cover onto the world. It has no meaning, no plot or story line, and the only reason people went to see the movie is that the guy who played whatshisface Edward was "SOOO HAWT OMG!!!". To sum the book and movie up, it's a chick flick about a fantasy world that will never exist. If you disagree, go to hell and come back to reality.
Me: What the hell is all this twilight crap about?
Guy 1: I don't know, they're all horny and orgamsic about it.
Fangirl: OMGEEZY, EDWARD IS SO HAWT, I WANT TO RAPE HIM!!!!!
Me: Uhh, go get a life and lose a few pounds, eh?
Guy 2: BURN!!!! Oh, and don't say omgezzy, you sound gay.
Fangirl: *cries* I'M GOING TO EAT UNTIL I CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING!!!
Me: You go do that.
474👍 109👎