laying carpet

When a girl, with at least a little bit of bush, is fucking somebody really hard. Basically, the female version of laying pipe.

Joe: I was laying pipe on this girl so hard last night.
Fred: Oh yeah? were you laying pipe or was she laying carpet? you bitch..

Sara: What are you doing tonight?
Jenny: I'm going to the club, cause i'm planning on laying carpet tonight.

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carpet surfing

when a dog (small or large) sits on the carpet and drags around the room on it's butt using it front legs.

Look honey, Fido is carpet surfing his ass off on our heirloom, oriental rug.

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cut the carpet

to sever all ties, to break off all relations with (someone)

When my best friend betrayed me by sleeping with my wife, I cut the carpet between us.

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Magic Carpet

A wash clothe, towel or article of clothing that used to clean up after having sexual intercourse with a women whose on her period.

Man: Ah babe, what in the fuck!! You're raggin'?

Woman: Yeah, get a magic carpet.
Man: ...a what?
Woman: Something to clean up the mess dear.

13👍 5👎

carpet bomb

The act of farting at random intervals down a hallway (such as a school or hotel) so that the origin of the smell is unknown.

Aw man I just laid a massive carpet bomb on the 5th floor of that hotel

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carpet eater

someone who eats vagina.

What a carpet eater

Etymology: from the latin term "Carpe Diem"

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The Carpet Cleaner

While banging a girl doggy style, tie her arms behind her back, lift up her hips, and run around the room pushing her face first across the carpet. Not recommended with large women.

"That bitch never even saw the carpet cleaner coming."

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