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look outside a corner shop or takeaway or whatever at about 11pm at night and you will see chavs, usually in groups between about 5 and 20.
boys wear some kind of hardnut tracksuit, with nike,adidas,scholl,bear,timberland accross it, and have a nike/burbery cap about 90 degrees to their head.
the girls have peroxide blondre hair pulled back so tight their forehead doesnt move, make up put on witha shovel, a trackie with priness or babe or something on the back of it, a fag in one hand and a mobile in the other. oh and both boys and girls wear about 2 tonnes of argos jewellery each.
they normally say things like-
"oi, you startin"
"youre gonna get banged out you little c**t"
"get us some fags"
"its orrigh't innit"
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dirty little fuckwitts who plague our streets like a virus. they are the equivellent of a scab coz you pick them off and they always come back. you should host the worlds largest free burberry sale wait till there all in location and bomb the fucking lot of them "for cold booded murder of the english tongue" aiit boi!!!! chavettes must get help pulling that hair back there is only one time to tuck your socks in that is ridding a bike not every day so sad fucks get the hint britan hates you die die die!
OLD MAN "would you mind moving as i need to park my car
GANG OF CHAVS "aiight fuck it we is movin anyway
COCKY CHAV (wants to be admired by fellow chavettes)"fuckin old prick, fool
OLD MAN "what was that boy
COCKY CHAV "nuffin"
OLD MAN "diddent think so
COCKY CHAV "CUNT!" leg it!
OLD MAN "fucking chavs"
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The slang word Chav, comes from Gustave Flaubert's masterpiece, Madame Bovary.
Charles Bovary is a doctor, he is trusting and romantic. He loves and marries Emma she becomes Madam Bovary. She is a naive but mercenary social climber.
On their wedding night the villagers bang pots and pans under the newlyweds window, a serenade known as Charivari.
The villagers shout out Charbovari! Charbovari! a play on words by crossing Charles Bovary's name with Charivari.
Villagers would perform a Charivari when they believed a wedding to be a farce.
The villagers new that Charles was being taken for a mug by Emma. On many occasions she was unfaithful right under his nose and squandered all his money, but he continued to love her.
The word Chav has nothing to do with a mans social class or culture or educational attainment.
The word Chav refers to a decent person, a lover, being taken advantage off by their partner.
British working class men are brilliant, they are the dogs bollocks! They are not Chavs, well not all of them!
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A byword for someone who has a taste for a certain types of sports brand casual clothes such as nike, adidas, etc wear baseball caps, hoodies, tracksuit bottoms and tuck their trousers into their socks.
Stereotypically, they exhibit agressive behavior, drink white lightning, are oversexed, living in relative poverty in menial jobs and being a general nusance. However, this is a common misconception as you don't have to be working class or from a working class background to be a stereotype chav by a long stretch. You don't even have to throw burberry over yourself anymore either, just act like a moron and an obnoxious pain in the hole and that'll probably be enough (even if you still have to wait for your mum to pick you up).
Many pretentious, social commenting boregois Cretins who follow this stereotype love to wail at how "it reflects middle class snobbery".
Unfortuntately, these self-appointed commentators are hypocritically following exactly the same chav stereotype to the letter and are so short sighted, they fail to see what hypocritical, ignorant, talentless cunts they really are.
"You chav bastard! Go back to your white lightning outside Maccy D's!"
"But your such a snob you need to demonise the working class! You deserve any misery chavs throw at you!"
"Hello moron? You believe like said previous cretin that all working class follow the same pattern of mindless drunken talentless thuggery! What makes you different?"
..."I read the Times as well as the Daily Express..."
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Mainly attaching itself to teenagers, the Chav virus destroys the brains ability to pronounce words such as "The" "Isn't it" and "Brother". This leaves the teenager with a vocabulary such as "Da" "Init" and "Bruv".
Along with the loss of certain words, a taste for burbury appears and the teenager will shed all sensible clothes to wear these. They will also buy jewelery from Argos as if it is worth millions.
The Chav will also harm others for no reason, they will also threaten, but do not worry as these are hollow threats and they will only hurt you once and not stab or kill you.
Jamie said he is going to stab Chris, but because he is a chav he will only hit him.
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The alpha-male species of the chav is commonly seen hanging around almost any street corner or outside Mc Donald’s at night on a week day. They are easily identifiable, they wear baseball caps or hoods, “sports label” tracksuit trousers with socks tucked in to them, as an identification of rank (the higher the socks, the higher the Chavvy status), they ‘trend knock-off trainers’ and can typically be seen in mock Burberry clothing. Their combat experience to accompany their rank can be distinguished by the amount of battle honours (or ASBO's) gained.
The female of the species, or Chavette, can usually be identified pushing a pram around shopping centers or pubs smoking, drinking (commonly ‘XXXX’ or ‘special brew extra strength’) and swearing at the infant, or Chavlette. The ‘Croydon Facelift’
(where the hair is tied back into a bun so tightly that it stretches the skin on their face backwards) is common among the females as is cheap, imitation gold jewelry (or ‘bling’). The females status can usually be accurately judged by the sheer enormity of it’s hoped gold earrings.
The common Chav holds it’s own dialect, known as ‘Chavish’. Scientists have worked to try and understand this strange dialect for years but to no avail, however they were able to establish that Chav’s have very small brains and an exceptionally low IQ and common sense. The only bits of chavish you may be able to understand are the frequent and graphic swearing that the chav learns from it’s chavette mother at an early age.
Their recreational hobbies include ‘Maxing it up’ in their cheap and nasty old bangers (commonly the Nova and Fiesta, although a high ranking chav may drive a golden chariot (known commonly as a Saxo). They spend a fortune on large wheels and rims or alloys, LED colored lights (the reason for this is still unknown) and the most common accessory of all – the ‘wanker pipe’. This being a large exhaust or exhaust tip fitted to the exhaust system of the car which seems to simply ruin the sound of the engine. It is still however unbeknown to experts exactly what is the source of all this wealth. However it may be due to their frequent sponsorship deals with ‘Max Power Magazine’ proudly displaying their half-arsed efforts at automotive design.
1. "Look at those scum-bag chavs"
2. "What the hell is that stupid chav shouting at us?"
"I don't know, he's shouting in chavish".
"F*ckin Freaks".
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Chav
Chav someone who lives on benefits, wardrobe from jd and can’t afford real food
Michael: (points to someone wearing a tracksuit, eating rip off wotsits and calling someone on a nokia brick) is he a chav?
Me: yeah.
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