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Uncontested Divorce

The act of completely winning your divorce and murdering all who hurt you. By allowing your sex addicted spouse to obtain multiple affair partners. Privately file your legal documents . Surprise your spouse by looking them directly in the eye. Call them ugly, fat, stupid and that you never really cared about them. Then imply that they are a total waste of time and space. Arrogantly smile while you leave the moment they are being served with a restraining order , and divorce papers. Meanwhile occulting your knowledge of their extreme abandonment issues, family history of narcissistic cannibalism, psychopathy , and vast knowledge of deadly chemicals.

Investigator : Did read the headline about a crazy spouse arrested for murdering 5 people after being served with papers? Divorce Lawyer: Sounds like a Uncontested Divorce to me.

by Deviled Bacon July 16, 2022


sleep divorce

When you or your wife cannot sleep together in a bed due to one of you snoring, breaking wind, watching way too much Tik Tok, work schedules, etc. so both of you start sleeping in separate rooms.

Honey, your snoring is out of control! I want a sleep divorce!

The Pattersons are sleeping in separate rooms. Are they going through a divorce?
No, they are still happily married they just have a sleep divorce.

by Hogwash15 June 11, 2023


Divorce papers

A colour, slightly yellowish white with a pinch of almond brown.

Divorce papers is the best colour to ever exist, can't prove me wrong.

by Dirtymindedbish October 16, 2021


Soul divorced

One of many phrases meaning killed or dead used by Tik Toker/YouTuber: Casual Geographic to avoid demonetization when ruining your favourite animal(s) for 5-10 minutes.

"Bump (an elephant) then used his tusks to split his handler in half and then stood over his soul divorced corpse for hours."

by N1t-Man103 April 14, 2023


andrews divorce

A long, drawn out separation where a married couple intends to file the paperwork to get divorced, but it never gets done due to lack of will and sheer laziness. Both parties move on with their lives but remain legally married to one another.

My girlfriend keeps pressuring me to get a real divorce. She's not down with my Andrews divorce situation.

by Golden Child 5K June 26, 2017


Texas Divorce

A sexual position in which the parties are standing up and tied together with a belt. To qualify as a true Texas Divorce, belt buckle must be at least 5” in diameter.

After we rode the mechanical bull, I took her back to my place for a Texas Divorce.

by LesleeB February 12, 2020


Cable and divorce

A play on "Netflix and Chill." This is for more established couples who are tired of each other and their daily routine(s). "Cable and divorce" is basically the beginning of the end...because hey, who still has cable anyway?

Me: "We went from 'Netflix and chill' to 'cable and divorce' in under 2 years."

by AndrewsOnIt November 8, 2015