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Jake

Everything that is bad is 'A jake'

'Dude, you really jaked this up'
'that situation is jaketastic'
'dont be a jake'
'if you dont stop being such a jake'off I will punish fuck your dumper'

by Fagel May 4, 2008

54πŸ‘ 105πŸ‘Ž


Jake

1. (v) To rob someone. Usually involves taking money, but could also cover other possessions.

2. (n) A thief.

1. Guy 1: So we'll jake a couple of first-years for a couple of quid, then go get some lunch. All in favour?
Guys 2, 3 and 4: I!

2. Guy 1: That guy just swiped my wallet!
Guy 2: Stay away from him, he's a total Jake.

by Azred Ferla March 9, 2006

80πŸ‘ 170πŸ‘Ž


Jake

a stupid gay ass mother fucking faggot. also known as a player, a monkey sucker, a cock stroker, and we have proven today that he is the lowest form of male on this planet, and many other planets. i will cherish the day he dies, and watch him burn in the firery depths of HELL.

sami&rachel: HEY JAKE FUCK YOU!! *stabs in the tiny heart*
jake: that didnt hurt, because i have no soul, feelings, or emotions. especially towards the girls i say that i love.
sami&rachel: you heartless son of a bitch. go to hell

by mary-marie-ann July 21, 2009

50πŸ‘ 102πŸ‘Ž


Jake

Usually a Bandwagoner Sports fan. Jumps teams everyday. And claims to be a Life-Long Clipper Fan. Most people named Jake don't watch games but look at stats which makes it hard to talk sports with them.

All of the Heat Fans are Jake's.

by Clipper Darrel June 4, 2013

7πŸ‘ 10πŸ‘Ž


Jake

a boy that loves goats, also called a "goat lover", uses goats when he cant get it anywhere else

Jake wasnt getting any, so we had to get him a goat.

by youll_never_know October 9, 2008

48πŸ‘ 100πŸ‘Ž


Jake

a boss at everything lets no one stop him and is usauly a boss at lacorosse

Dude look at Jake on the LAX field

by Laxstud17 January 25, 2012

10πŸ‘ 16πŸ‘Ž


Jake

jay-kuh N. A Jake is a common, intangible creature that normally thrives in upper middle-class suburbia.

Jakes are essentially synonymous with Chads, much like Craigs. Jakes are annoyingly white, spoiled, frat-boy types who live off their parent’s money and have never worked a day in their lives. They are raging douche faggots who wear nothing but Abercrombie & Fitch popped collar shirts, mesh trucker hats and too much hair gel. Personality-wise, they're hugely insensitive, stubborn, selfish and emotionally retarded, much like prepubescent 12-year old boys whose testicles have yet to drop. Even though they may act like stereotypical "nice guys,” when you first meet them, this is just a facade. A Jake lacks the ability to care for those other than himself.

The main difference between Jakes and Chads is that while Chads go out of their way to be massive cockblocks and actually do have sex with women, Jakes are usually sexually repressed, pussified fuck bags who have no game whatsoever and merely give the impression that they're getting laid on a regular basis. Do not be fooled, for the only action a Jake is getting is from his own hand, or in desperate cases, from raping small dogs and other household pets.

It is universally accepted that a Jake cannot be made a man, and that any woman hoping to land one will have to instead settle for making a Jake their bitch. Jakes fail at life, women, the internet and Chuck Norris jokes, and should generally be avoided at all costs.

"Dude, did you seriously just laugh at that girl after she told you she was anally raped fifteen consecutive times by Steve Buscemi? You are the biggest Jake I've ever met."

Girl: Hey, you're kind of cute. What's your name?
Jake: 'Sup, I'm Jake.
Girl: God, you are such an asshole. I hate you, goodbye.
Jake: I don't get it. What did I do?
Craig: It's because you said you're Jake.
Jake: So?
Craig: Everyone knows Jake is a douche. You should have said you were me.

by omgliekwtflol November 3, 2009

45πŸ‘ 94πŸ‘Ž