jimmy, do we have a designated chest for jungle wood? because we're gonna need one

Well-known quote by Socrates

"jimmy, do we have a designated chest for jungle wood? because we're gonna need one" - Socrates

Or because

If you are on the wrong side of 'internet silliness' you will lose your multi-million dollar business.

Hym "OR BECAUSE people might not like your involvement in this. I might be the correct one. And anyone who is not me is wrong! UP TO AND INCLUDING GOD! And I AM THAT! THE MAN WHO WAS MORE CORRECT THAT GOD! BETTER THAN EVERYONE!!!"

because it's good for you

The ultimate b**ls**t reason that someone in authority impatiently tells you to forcibly pressure you to consume/do something you detest, such as insipidly chomp through a huge bowl of oatmeal, choke down hard/sticky/bitter medicine-pills/powder/syrup, bake in the sun for extended periods, attend school/church, meet/interact with someone whom you fear/dislike, or any other acutely-disagreeable action of dubious --- and still largely unproven, in many cases --- effectiveness or benefit.

Using the age-old "because it's good for you" reasoning to convince someone to perform one or more disagreeable tasks --- especially if you cannot be totally certain that said procedure actually is indeed necessary/appropriate/effective for that particular person, and in those particular circumstances --- has always been an unwise and hurtful procedure; not only may it needlessly subject the "sufferer" to untold misery, but it also can often cause the agonized "victim" to totally turn away from and obsessively do the exact opposite of said practices/procedures (such as entirely shunning "health foods" like vegetables in favor of junk foods like chips and soda, or tempestuously refusing to hear or discuss anything even remotely alluding to religion) just as soon as he gets old enough to begin making his own decisions, and cause him to live an exceedingly unhealthy and "intellectually isolated" lifestyle. Plus it is an especially tragic mistake in current times, when there now exist so many far-more-palatable alternatives to the "basic 'n' boring" past methods of carrying out said "necessary tortures", such as using fun educational videos instead of having to tediously bury one's nose in a dusty book, or administering pleasant-flavored herbal/medicinal beverages instead of following a horridly "strict 'n' mundane" Puritan-type diet.

Because screw you, that's why

Used to provide reasoning for seemingly random, unexplainable events that occur that result in unfortunate outcomes. Most often used for video game RNG.

Guy 1: Damn, why'd the teacher give decide to give us a pop quiz today? I didn't study!
Guy 2: Because screw you, that's why!

Why is six afraid of seven? It is because seven ate nine (2024, the eighth year of solstice)

what I call homo-sapiens who are addicted to perianal abscesses.

Person 1: Are you addicted to perianal abscesses?
Person 2: Yes.
Person 1: Why is six afraid of seven? It is because seven ate nine (2024, the eighth year of solstice)

I did the Macarena with a homeless man in an elevator Because big bird said to And he's my leader

on twitter someone said "I did the Macarena with a homeless man in an elevator Because big bird said to And he's my leader" and then it became a popular google search

I did the Macarena with a homeless man in an elevator Because big bird said to And he's my leader.

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because comics

A simple phrase used to explain why comics are how they are.
May also be used for stuff based on comics.

"The Silver Age of comics was weird. Like really, really weird. But did you know that Supergirl once dated a fricken horse? Well she did... because comics." - Comic Drake