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You know what life really is? You're born.you suck your mother's tits.you get older, you suck your girlfriends tits.You get married.You suck your wife's tits.Someone sucks your tits in the morgue
Two types of people in this world (Leaders and followers) only there's a shortage on 1 of them
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A long series of one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead
You suck-diddly-uck Flanders (at life)
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What you have if you're able to move, breathe, have consciousness, etc. It's about a total of 100 years filled with challenges, before you die. Most die before 100 though, but very few can survive longer (see Centenarian). It is a tough time when you can have so many challenges thrown at you. Failure to complete the below challenges might be caused by a neurological disorder, some other disease, disorder, or syndrome, or premature death. I'm guessing death is some sort of bonus with a prize afterwards (like heaven or afterlife, if you die in old age). If you're dead prematurely (like with suicide or another incident), you might just be reincarnated. I hope hell and eternal oblivion aren't real.
Succeeding at life 101
By age 2 , success is: Being able to walk and talk without help
By age 4, success is: Not having to wear diapers
By age 8, success is: Having friends
By age 12, success is: Contacting friends on your cell phone
By age 16, success is: Having a partner (girl/boyfriend)
By age 17, success is: Having a driver's license, having a job, and having your own money
By age 18, success is: Controlling your life, making own decisions
By age 19, success is: Living independently
By age 20, success is: Being able to have sex (can be reached before age 18 though)
By age 25, success is: Being involved in a career
By age 30, success is: Being married and having kids
By age 50, success is: Still being married and having kids
By age 52, success is: Still being involved in a career
By age 53, success is: Still being able to have sex
By age 60, success is: Still living independently
By age 63, success is: Still controlling your life, making own decisions
By age 65, success is: Still having a driver's license, having a job, and having your own money
By age 70, success is: Still having a partner
By age 74, success is: Still contacting friends on your cell phone
By age 75, success is: Still having friends
By age 80, success is: Still not being dead yet
By age 88, success is: Still not having to wear diapers
By age 92, success is: Still being able to walk and talk without help
By age 100, success is: STILL not being dead yet
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Life's too painful to describe. Sorry folks :(
You live... You die... THE END.
That's Life
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Joe: "Yo bob, how's life?"
Bob: "..."
Joe: "how's bacon?"
Bob: "Oh, life's great man. it's all about bacon!"
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