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A nonexistent girlfriend (not that internet service schtick). I have one of these. The pros far outway the cons. No dates to remember, no birthdays, so you can basically be a slob and get away with it. If you give her some interesting problems, she'll really be 3 dimensional. Mine's a kleptomaniac and a narcissist.
Mom: Where are all your pens?
Me: Bonnie must have stolen them.
Mom: Who the hell's Bonnie?
Me: Exactly.
169👍 27👎
A girl who a man always thinks about while masturbating.
As said by Neil from The Inbetweeners series 3
I was nearly unfaithful to my wank girlfriend...it's Hayden Panettiere off of Heroes...but the other day I was tempted to knock one out over Fearne Cotton
25👍 2👎
The fortnite girl that you have feelings for mostly because she carries you every match.
Tim: " Hey Rick wanna go to the movies today"
Rick: "No thanks Tim I'm getting carried by my Fortnite girlfriend".
40👍 4👎
Someone who you have never met, will never meet, and have absolutely no chance with, but you know everything about.
Douche 1: Christy is so hot with that uberminiskirt and hair-thin bra...
Douche 2: Yea dawg, shes my facebook girlfriend
Douche 1: Sick brah. So are you guys dating in real life then?
Douche 2: Nah brah its not like that dude, we want to keep things virtual. I just cant be tied down to a 5' 6" bikini model with a D cup and whose favorite color is turqoise and has soccer practice at 3:00 PM on Monday Tuesday and Thursday after school with her friend Janice who she got into a fight with about a cute guy but its ok because they talked it over and realized that he didnt like either of them so theres no point in fighting because they will just ruin their friendship which has been strong since the 3rd grade when they met in history class and made fun of their teacher, Ms. Kretzel.
Douche 1: Sounds like you two are pretty close. You gonna introduce yourself to her?
Douche 2: Hell no...
50👍 6👎
A pillow with arms that simulates the act of having a girlfriend. Can be sometimes misinterpreted with boyfriend pillow, which does not exist.
Because she did not have a boyfriend, she settled for the comfort and love of a girlfriend pillow.
44👍 5👎
When your girlfriend takes up an attitude about something, and start ignoring your calls and texts. As a man, you are usually unaware that there is a girlfriend strike until it is going full force, and you usually will not remember what caused the strike until the strike is over.
Girlfriend strike? You were mad at me?