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when a male is completely controlled by his girlfriend/woman/significant other, and constantly bails on his friends to be with her.
Person 1: Dude, Marco is being such a dick in a jar. I haven't seen him in months.
Person 2: What the fuck is a dick in a jar?
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A jar or other contained kept near the bed for to pee in, when the pee-er for whatever reason--usually laziness--does not want to go to the toilet (this does not include those unable to go to the toilet due to disability, injury, age, etc.)
Craig keeps an old water bottle under his bed as a thunder jar.
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Noun. Usually an open cup or jar on the counter, near the register. Patrons can tip the staff by adding cash to the jar, instead of leaving cash on the table or on the bar. Restaurant and bar servers might split the pot each shift, so everyone gets a fair share of the tips.
Tip jars are also common in virtual worlds that require virtual money for certain activities. They can take any shape or appearance, because they just need to run a transactional script (just like a credit card swipe). Users touch or click the virtual object to "leave a tip", and the owner of the tip jar gets paid immediately. In Second Life, tip jars are often left where visitors are likely to make donations. They are not always placed by the owner of the parcel or even with their permission, so the presence of a tip jar can be very deceptive. If the land is free to build on, someone is gonna leave a tip jar there, sooner or later - and some sucker is gonna click on it for no good reason (literally giving money away).
Unlike virtual money, real tip jar cash is vulnerable to theft if left unattended. Patrons can skim a little off the top when no one is looking - or simply grab the money and run.
"I forgot to leave some money on the table."
"Don't worry about it. There's a tip jar."
"Rez your tip jar on the floor or somewhere beside you, don't attach it or wear it. Don't forget to take it back to your inventory before you logoff, otherwise the land owner will return it and it'll end up in the lost and found folder."
"Check it: tip jar..."
"Yeah, B, easy money!"
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A jar which you put money in, for every time someone makes a douchebag comment.
Paul:Dude I'm struggling to find a date tonight man.
Kevin:Wow dude you such a freaking embarrassment, like how easy could it be to ask a girl on a date...well it is for good looking guys anyways.
Malcolm:O.K. bro that's a visit to the douche jar.
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- He is aproximately 3 feet tall and 3 feet wide
- If you were to touch him, he would feel like a frog or other anphibuous creature.
- He lives somewhere in Tibet, up in the mountains. But he does wander a lot and ventures to America sometimes to observe the behaviors of our materialistic society.
- He has suction cups on his feet.
- He never stops smiling. Never.
- He sleeps with his eyes open.
- He knows all. Past, present, and some say he knows the future, but that is because he is so intelligent that it is easy for him to predict the future.
- He can read peoples' minds, by noticing their body movements, smelling odors that humans can not smell that come off our bodies depending what mood we're in, and sensing brain patterns.
- He has extremely acute senses.
- He feeds on burnt action figures, markers, paper, nail polish remover, or any other food he can get ahold of. Being the extremely advanced creature that he is, his body can break down almost any substance into nourishing nutrients.
- Most of his day is spent romping, contemplating, meditating, musing, enjoying nature, deciphering compositions of music, pondering, sitting, and taking drugs.
- He can spend even three days sitting on a rock, pondering something so intentley that he is in a completely trance-like state.
- He has obtained Nirvana. That is probably why he is so happy.
- He does not speak at all. I dont know if he just cant talk or if he doesnt want to. So none of us will ever know his wonderful revalations. Though someone thought they heard him say "shit" after dropping an icecream cone one time.
- Some say he is a reincarnation of Buddha.
- His friends are: Jesus (because he is still out there somewhere), the Dali Lama, hippies, philosiphers, Ghandi's ghost (which haunts a family in Nevada), father oceania, garden gnomes, trees, and Lil Jon.
- He does acid, shrooms, and pot often.
- He loves to play Solitare. I dont know why. But he does it on the computer, on his calculator, and with his friends.
- He loves to play the guitar, the bass flute, and the tambourine.
- No one is sure if he has genitalia or not. But he pees out of the hole in the top of his body, by rolling upside down and letting it run out.
- He has extremely sharp reactions. Many people like to poke him in his eye, since it is so big and pokeable, but he will close his eyelid in a flash, often enclosing the person's finger in it. Then his eye juices slowly start to digest the finger.
- He is a frequent guest of the Conan O'brien show, though he doesnt say anything, had his own daytime talkshow, though he didnt say anything so it got cancelled within a month, appeared on the Maury Povich show once for no reason, and some say you can see him in the background of one of the Lord of the Rings films.
- He holds the answer to the mystery of the universe.
- Some say he has been living forever. He was never born, and will never die, because he was here always. WEEirrddd shit.
- He LOVES slurpees. I mean, he frickin loves them.
- He is sexually attracted to lava lamps, and cardboard, if rubbed against him, gives him extremely intense orgasm-feelings in his teeth.
- He loves to romp in feilds. OH HOW HE LOVES TO ROMP!!!
- He hasn't a care in the world.
- No one has ever been inside of him (he is a jar.) Some say they looked inside, to see extraordinarily beautiful and bright colors, colors that don't exist in this world, and were flooded with extreme happiness. Looking inside of him can be a life-changing experience for a lot, so there are sometimes hoards of people stalking him. Though some have reported seeing an old wrinkly bald man/panda, stripping for dancing tacos inside. I have no idea what that is about.
- Some say that the inside him is the link to another dimension, or an alternate universe.
So that pretty much sums him up.
The other day I spent a day with The Wisdom Jar, and his presence filled me with serenity and peace for many months afterwards.
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The ultimate move is the sexual sealing of a woman's orifices. The Mason Jar requires four humans with a deliberate determination to complete this ritual. Three males and a female, with optional non gender specific camera technician. The woman must set herself in a comfortable position using all four of her limbs to hold her body parallel to the floor. Man one will take up a stance in front of the woman's face. He will then penetrate her mouth with his penis closing up her oral opening. Man two will take up position underneath the woman. He must be a flexible and strong man as this will be the most difficult position to accomplish properly. Man two should consider some sort of support furniture or cushions, as he must fill the woman's vagina with his penis, whilst also getting ready to hold her nose closed. It is very important to remember not to hold the nose closed until the very end. If man two is over eager and closes the woman's nose while her mouth is being penetrated see the entry in this dictionary for Dead Hooker. Man three must then take up position behind the woman and penetrate her anus with his penis. Once man three completes his task man two must then hold the woman's nose closed. Immediately after the nose is sealed, the men proceed to thrust into the three prime orifices. After about a minute of this man two may release the woman's nose, and enjoy giving the other men a congratulatory handshake as they have successfully completed The Mason Jar.
"Darling would you enjoy an attempt at The Mason Jar tonight?"
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Selling fart jars, only $6 a jar! Get yer' fresh smelly fart-in-a-jar here!
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