Wedgie Spread

When you don't wipe properly and have to walk a lot. Later, you notice a sumptuous streak right across your boxers.

Damn, my mother went into my room to get my laundry. I hope she didn't see the wedgie spreads.

look spread

The difference between a couples rate out of 10.
Ex. A couple. Hot girl 10 ugly guy 2. Look spread of 8.

A couple composed of a hot girl thats a 10 and ugly guy thats a 2 would have a look spread of 8. The lower the better for the couple.

Spread Jockey

Individual (Usually male) who inserts into their anus by using multiple fingers while spreading violently in a very gay fashion. Usually while getting rammed vigorously from a Top.

Zolar: Hey are you a Top or a Bottom?

(Male escort): I am a Top.

Zolar: Oh great. I am a Bottom, I am actually a spread jockey.

Chestnut spread

Placing premature ejaculation on the chest of an individual performing fellatio on you in a Christmas themed environment

I was so excited when the Mariah Carey Christmas song came on, while standing under the mistletoe, I lasted only a couple of seconds before giving my partner an untimely chestnut spread thus ruining her already ugly Christmas sweater.

spreading the nutella

Code for taking a shit.

Bro 1: What you doing?
Bro 2: Spreading the Nutella.

shred and spread

To shred som cheese then spread the legs of a random girl

Mike: yo I heard joe did a shred and spread at the pub
Jake: the fuck is a shred and spread

Precision Spreading

The art of spreading a refrigerated, solid spread on a toast without tearing it apart when the Spreader doesn't have time to let the toast's heat melt the spread.

There are 2 major cases where Precision Spreading can be of great use: When spreading butter or cream cheese.

Cream cheese should be used for Precision Spreading training as it is the easier of the two.

Solid butter, however, is the true ultimate challenge here. As butter actually is solid as opposed to creamy.

*derp grabs a toast, some refrigerated butter and starts spreading the little block*

*derp goes too fast and tears a hole in the toast because the butter is solid and just won't spread*

Dammit! I should have applied Precision Spreading there.