Random
Source Code
Random
Jesse Standard Time (JST) is based on the present time zone plus 15 minutes. It's not a standard 15 minutes however and in some cases could be upwards of real-time plus 30 minutes or even 60 minutes.
The origin of Jesse Standard Time is somewhat unknown, but it’s believe it dates back approximately 40 years to 1969.
Jesse Standard Time was first discovered by the author of this term back in 1990. At that time JST was typically only approximately 5 minutes behind real time however over the years JST has increasingly fallen farther behind. Based on statistical analysis of JST over the past 20 years by a team of scientists commissioned by Father time it has been concluded that given the current rate of "time slippage" JST will be a full calendar day behind by sometime in August of the year 2044.
JST cannot be adjusted or altered by any known force in the universe. Many have attempted to compensate for the difference in JST vs. real time by adjusting schedules by up to 30 minutes in hopes to negate the effect. These futile attempts have routinely come up short and have been known to cause JST to slip even farther than normal.
This author recommends that those trying to ignore its existence or to resist JST should just accept it. JST should be embraced by all. JST is a very powerful tool and resistance to its forces will most likely negatively impact your daily schedule, but if used correctly can actually increase the amount of time in your day.
Boss: "Hey Bob, where have you been? We start work here at 8:00AM... It's 8:20AM!!"
Worker: "I'm not late, I'm running on JST."
Boss: "JST, what's that?"
Worker: "That's Jesse Standard Time of course."
The point in time when although things are working fine a complete system restart has occured
Them: How'd things go last night during registration?
Me: Well as you can see by this graph, thigs were working but here you see the standard gossard deviation, then it was busy again.
Them: What an idiot!
Burner Standard Time is the approximation of the time a meeting or event will take place between two attendees of Burning Man, which takes into account the reality that Burners are easily distracted and often late (especially at Burning Man). For instance, 4pm burner standard time should be understood as anywhere between 4:30 and 6pm "real" time.
While it is common parlance at Burning Man, it has application outside of the festival as well.
At Burning Man:
"Let's meet by the temple at at 3 o'clock burner standard time"
Outside of Burning Man:
"Larry is late again!" "Oh, he's still running on burner standard time"
9👍 1👎
Implies that an object is of an accepted, regulation, run-of-the-mill nature. Expressed as prefix to a statement, usually followed by reference to said object.
Can quite literally be applied to anything, in any context...
We have invited some chicks over. Just your standard KG slappers.
James went to the doctor, due to a huge swelling of his plugger. He discovered that he had contracted just your standard herpes off a KG slapper.
Guy 1: Dude, heard you copped a sick BJ on saturday night!?
Guy 2: It was just your standard, really.
Guy 1: Did you bring large doms?
Guy 2: Nah just your standard...
Guy: Did you shave this time? I dont want another rancid fanny bashing.
Girl: Hell no, Ive got just your standard jungle going on down there. Chimps and all.
Guy: Can I just have your standard "happy meal" thanks?
Maccas: Would you like to supersize?
Guy: What part of "standard" did you not understand, dick bitch?
Guy 1: How was last night with the missus?
Guy 2: Retarded as usual. We were doing the deed when she bit my piece. Did me no harm but left me with just your standard bruising.
12👍 2👎
A state of mind possessed by losers and virgins convincing them that any female who isn't photoshopped or surgery'd to 'perfection' is less than woman enough for their fat nerd sex.
Fearne Cotton does not meet my Fat Nerd Standards, I would much rather masturbate over hentai or Pamela Anderson.
12👍 2👎
Standard Lesbian Behavior is characterized by lesbians who fall into the trap of behaviors that we all know and love/hate.
Generally being a passive aggressive psycho with borderline stalker behavior. We've all been there.
Standard Lesbian Behavior Examples:
-Playing Rugby, Softball, Soccer, Lacrosse, Field Hockey
-Dating a teammate from above teams
-Saying I love you to your girlfriend within 30 business days
-Deleting your ex off facebook / re-adding her / deleting her again
-Owning multiple snapbacks / hats (lesbians love head gear)
-Adding random lesbians on facebook and messaging them without even meeting
-OKCreeping
-Showing up at the bar with the same outfit as multiple men
-Creepily following / crushing on someone on Instagram you.have.never.met
-Not just possesing cats, but being possesive and obsessive of cats
-Multiple uploads per week of said cat to Instagram
-Liking a rando lez's pics on all forms of social media.
-Owning Timberlands - if ur a dykey lez
there are so,many,more but I refuse to give you em all
17👍 4👎
(Also abbreviated P.S.T)
1. Fashionably late
2. (when preceded by a definite hour) Within half an hour or so of.
1. Don't worry, Dave will be here, he's on Pagan Standard Time.
2. We'll be holding our Samhain Ritual at 8:00 Pagan Standard time.
25👍 7👎