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Muff Teeves
Noun
1. When you're postin' up and you see Pres-Teeves Worldwide sponsored by Damngoodbeer doing his work.
2. Outrageous slayer of poon.
3. Girth-Domed masterpiece.
William: Eh, yo John man see that Pres-Teeves over there in L-Town with that big shit poppin'?
John: Heard that. That's that girth-man Muff Teeves.
Suh: Yee.
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1. When you give a nice feel or tap to a woman's vagina either sexual or not sexual.
2. When at a bar, you move your arm in a downward motion, and instead of swinging at air, you get a nice handful of a random woman's vagina.
1. I gave Becky a Muff Tap last night, and I really think she liked it. Tomorrow I might go to the next step, and give her a Polish Windmill.
2. I was slapping my friend five, but wound up to hard and gave some toothless, child support-surfing mamma a muff tap at the bar last night.
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A tremendously unkempt bush covering a woman's genitalia. Much like the biblical figure Samson, the power muff derives its strength from from its length, fullness and overall unruly presentation. It may rise up toward the naval (upper Puff), down the buttocks (Powder Room Muff), but the most powerful of these muffs covers both of these areas much like that of a gorilla's fur. A contrast to the popular pubic dressing of a Brazilian wax, it is ironically revered and eroticized by many in the modern world (see Hipster).
Dude, I love to watch my junk disappear in her power muff when we're dry humping.
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1. A huge, gaping maw of a vagina with not only inner and outer labia, but several folds of skin in between said labial regions, resembling a cabbage; quite possibly smells like old rancid cabbage as well.
2. Non-sensical term coined by South Park's episode called "It's a Jersey thing". Mostly uttered in anger.
Angry hair dresser: That whore is gah-bage! That muff cabbage thinks she's hot shit, but she's just nothing, she's just a cabbage!!
Innocent bystander: What the fuck is muff cabbage?!
Angry hair dresser: (shrugs) It's a Jersey thing.
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A utensil gifted to males to aid in their constant search for muff. A muff shovel, scientifically referred to as an erect penis, allows males to excavate the depths of their mate's uterine cavity. An erect penis becomes a muff shovel when the male wielding it decides to refer to it as such. The male must declare his utensil to be a muff shovel and declare the female muff the ultimate goal to be conquered.
My boyfriend totally dug my stuff out with his muff shovel last week. It was exhilarating. He even donned a head lamp.
When a woman's pubic hair is so bushy and wiry it resembles that of a Yeti.
The density of her yeti muff left me with short term PTSD, and one mild abrasion.