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Noun:
A person who has a friend who they are not romantically affiliated with but treat as one would treat a life partner, the bond is mutual between both of the friends.
How to identify is someone is your platonic wife
1) They are a female friend of yours.
2) They are the first person you text when you’re in an uncomfortable situation.
3) You’d call them your ‘best friend’
4) When texting, both of you frequently pass lewd, sexual or romantic messages to each other in a joking manner.
5) You either ride with them or die.
6) At a lot of times, you have a love hate relationship with this person.
7) There are no romantic feelings between you and the friend.
8) The only things that could break this bond are:
-differing opinions in food
-differing opinions in celebrity crushes
-differing opinions in anything hardly controversial
9) If you were to have a differing opinion to your friend about food/celebrities/non-controversial topics the crisis could easily be resolved after a sarcastic FaceTime between you and the friend.
10) You’ve been friends with said person for 2+ years.
11) You would got to prison or break the law for this person, and they would for you.
12) You use excessive amount of emojis while chatting.
If a friend applies to all of 11 or more of these rules, they are a platonic wife.
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A condition suffered by many husbands whereby they believe their unattractive wife is actually attractive.
Many cases are so severe that the husband actually believes his wife is desired by attractive and successful men (or women).
The husband holds a firm belief that his wife does no wrong or simply cannot be held accountable for her actions.
Jim: "Doesn't Ted know his fat ugly wife is spending him into the poor house?"
Bob: "Nope. He's got his wife goggles on."
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He's a bitch, but gives me cookies before bed. I DON'T WANNA GO TO BED BEFORE O8:25 PM!!!
"My Wife's Boyfriend lets me suck on his dick"
"Jake, that was such a flex to say, my Wife's Boyfriend makes me go to bed at 8:25 PM!"
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a person of the opposite sex with whom you spend most of your work day.
Oh yeah, Maria, she's my work wife. All we do is argue all day and then I have to make up for it by buying her chocolate at the grocery store.
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The cunt who took all your property, your money and your kids and ran away to mommy and daddy's house so she could live off them for awhile while taking your child support and alimony and spending it on some fricken beer delivery guy that she met while you were working your fucking ass off.
What a cunt. No thats my ex-wife.
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Bob:"Where does Bill's wife work?" Jane:"She doesn't do any kind of work; she's a couch-wife."
a person who is extremely attractive and charms like a maddogg, these are the people that steal your wifes.
'I was just on the phone to the 'wife-jacker'
'what did he say'
'your missus says that your dicks small compared to mine'
'is that all?'
'yeah and that if i want her back, she will be on the corner of hay and barrack street'