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If a houseguest, squatter or friend has left any take-away within your fridge for 36 hours or longer then the food is fair game and is fully within the public domain.
Bob: Dude! Where the fuck is my kung pau?
Alice: Dunno. Where'd you leave it?
Bob: In the fridge
Alice: And it's not there anymore?!
Bob. Umm... No
Alice: Well, how long ago did you leave it there?
Bob: Last tuesday, I think
Alice: Dude; That was like 3-times-the-36-Hour-Rule ago
Bob: WTF is the "36 Hour Rule"?!!!
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1. When you're having sex with a pregnant woman and the fetus falls out onto the floor, you have 5 seconds to get it back in or else you must eat it.
2. When you trip and fall on the ground and your homie yells "5-second rule" and starts eating your ass.
1: Guy: Uh oh honey, it just popped out! My bad!
Girl: Well I guess you have 5 seconds to put Cleetus back in.
Guy: Oh, right the 5-second rule!
Oops it's too late now.
*Shoves Cleetus down his throat*
Girl: *Cries*
2: Bro 1: Watch out, your dick's untied.
Bro 2: *trips on dick and faceplants*
Bro 3: 5-second rule!
Bro 1 and 3: Start eating Bro 2's ass.
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The amount of time a DVD supplied by a through-the-post rental service has to prove itself watchable. A way of dealing with the inevitable question; "Who the hell picked that!?" when some discs arrive. A damage limitation excercise. Life is too short for bad movies.
Shyamalan's The Happening dropped through the door in the morning so we thought what the hell. We used the ten minute rule. It didn't make it.
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A widely known rule used to make morons feel better about eating off of the ground. Supposedly the food god protects all food for 5 seconds after it touches the ground. After which the food god will become angry and infest it with cooties.
Moron: Oh noes my sammich!
Food god: Hurry, pick it up. 5 second rule!
~5 seconds later~
Moron: ...What?
Food god: I am angered! I shall infest your sandwich with cooties!!
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10 Second Rule is an expansion from the 5 Second Rule due usually for being too drunk! By the time the food has been dropped, your mind figuring out it has been dropped and finally realising you DO have to bend down retrieve the food it's still fine to just give it a rub off and continue to eat it. (If you are drunk, so are germs, therefore it's going to take them longer to get to the food.)
Drunk Dude 1: *Been drinking all night, drops fat juicy chip from the chippy on the sick ass ground, watches it fall, looks upset* "Damn! Oh well, 10 second rule" *Bends down, picks it up and eats it*
Drunk Dude 2: *Agrees with the 10 second rule*
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This rule states that when masturbating with your right hand your thumb points in the direction the spooge will fly and your curled fingers will point in the direction your dick will bend if you jerk it with the right hand all the time.
There is actually a corresponding left hand rule that works the exact same way.
"It's good to be an ambitextrious masturbater.If you don't switch from your right hand once in awhile the right hand rule will tell you which way your dick will get bent."
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A rule dictating that a man must wait at least two weeks after a woman gets out of a long relationship to ask her out.
I'm really glad she broke up with that dude, and I want to ask her out, but I should obey the 2 week rule and wait.
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