crying throwing up ripping my hair out

Something you do when your very upset that you just want to smear your guts on the wall and bleed out as your tears slowly roll down your face.

Me: I was crying throwing up ripping my hair out yesterday because of how much I miss my ex

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Brown-Haired Guy Who Isn't Steve Doocy

One of the Friendly Friends at Fox and Friends, the Brown-Haired Guy Who Isn't Steve Doocy (Sometimes incorrectly refereed to as the Black-Haired Guy Who Isn't Steve Doocy, or even more rarely as Brain Kilmeade) is a anchor and co-host on the weekday version of Fox and Friends. He typically provides sports news, while hitting on Fox and Friends Spare Blonde Alisyn Camerota.

"And we're losing sight of the real problem here!"
"That the Bald Guy who isn't the Black-Haired Guy, who isn't the Brown-Haired Guy Who Isn't Steve Doocy, isn't Steve Doocy!" -Stephen Colbert

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That’s why her hair is so big. It’s full of secrets.

Mean girls have big hair full of secrets.

Damian: That’s why her hair is so big. It’s full of secrets.

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Do your nose hairs reach your lips?

Used to imply that someone is stupid or incorrect.

You really thought it was a good idea to eat that gas station sushi? Do your nose hairs reach your lips?

Finer than a dog's hair split three ways

Means that something is very fine, or that you feel excellent. If someone asks how you feel and you simply say "fine", you might just be saying it out of convention. Adding the "dog's hair split three ways" shows that you actually mean it.

Another form of the expression is "finer than a frog's hair split three ways", although literal frogs do not have hair.

You: How are you doing today?

Me: Why, I'm doing finer than a dog's hair split three ways!

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i brush my teeth and curl my hair

doing the brushing teeth and curling hair motions with your index finger signifies the person you’re pointing to while you “brush your teeth” is coo-coo.

“i brush my teeth” = “that person”
“and curl my hair” = “is cray cray”

“omg that girl is crazy”
“dont say that out loud!!”
“ok, i brush my teeth and curl my hair”

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two cunt hairs away from an ass whoopin

What it means is you're mighty fucking close to an ass whoopin! - BL

You son of a bitch, you are two cunt hairs away from an ass whoopin!

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