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When you are so drunk you drive with one eye closed.
Tom: Hey Kev, how did you get home last night?
Kev: I was so fucked i had to use pirate vision.
Gay men who like it up the butt. Typically very very homosexual.
Stacy: Whoah! look at how tight his jeans are!
Jenny: Oh, he must be an anus pirate!
Someone who goes on adventures looking for booty.
Sometimes even the most experienced Poontang Pirates can find themselves in slippery situations.
One who against all medical advice and common sense decides to not just lift weights at the gym, but instead decides to lift ALL of them. Platform pirates are often spotted on the platform with red faces, bulging neck veins and a general sense of pissed-off-ness not just at the impossibility of lifting the weight, but of the world.
Person A: Hey Schmicky! Look over there, that f***er is making away with all our weights like a drunken sailor making off with wenches.
Person B: That's not a sailor, that's a f***ing Platform Pirate! Don't f*** with him, he's on a mission!
the practice of stealing a person's seat when they temporarily leave it vacant. very common when there is an abundance of people with a limited number of places to sit.
"Don't steal my chair, bro, I call no chair pirating."
"I just got up for a mountain dew and he chair pirated me!"
A pirate made of metal from his head to his privates. They are the robot pirates. They do the things a robot should. Also the things a pirate should. They wear eye-patches and are feared by the masses. Their biggest enemy are computer hackers. They can also mop the whole poop deck in 11 seconds.
tommy: hey is that a robot pirate?
bobby: does he have a parrot sitting on his titanium chassis?
tommy: oh, no he doesn't.
bobby: then no.
A white guy who thinks he is a pirate and only pursues chubby red heads.
The ginger pirate passed out in the bar again right after he hit on that chubby red head.