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The act of getting super high to the point of vomiting, while keeping a good attitude and staying strong. Usually accompanied by extreme sweating and the lack of walking, talking or moving.
"Bro, he was Mitch Strong last party. He got so fucked up he couldn't even move, but he still seemed alright. So everyone tweeted #MitchStrong."
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When a man/guy has a crazy obsession for another women/girl and looses all of his friends over this one obsession for a girl and the girl hates him in return.
Wow, my friend is being such a Mitch Kelley
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the funniest comedian I've ever heard. died reciently of a drug over dose. said things like "I ordered a club sandwich and I'm not even a member. you say u like your sandwich with three slices of bread? me too lets form a club. we need more speculations. instead of cutting the sandwich once, we will cut it twice. and we will put things in the middle of the sandwich like potato chips, or salad. how do u feel about frilly tooth picks? I'M FOR EM! I like sprouts on my salad. Well your not in the fucking club!
waiter: what kind of sandwich would you like sir?
Mitch: Pastrami
waiter: and what kind of bread would u like on your sandwich?
Mitch: banana bread.
waiter: and what kind of cheese?
Mitch: cottege cheese.
waiter: I'm not making no fucking banana bread cottege cheese pastrami sandwich!!
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The, "wild thing" or a crazy baseball closer who cost the '93 Phillies the World Series.
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One of the funniest commedians EVER, matched only by Dane Cook. Died tragically in late March by a combination of drug abuse and a life-long heart problem... :(
I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra scary to me, because there's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run. He's fuzzy. Get outta here.
I think Pringles initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid back company. They said "Fuck it. Cut em up."
This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to hard.
You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.
At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said "Certainly." He said "Do I need to dial 9?" I say "Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick."
I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut... I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, Don't even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here... It's in my file at home. ...Under "D".
My friend was walking down the street and he said, "I hear music." As if there is any other way of taking it in. I tried to taste it, but it did not work.
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
If I was a locksmith, I'd be pimping that out man. I'll trade you a free key duplication for...(laughs) That joke made me laugh before I could finish it, which is good, because it had no ending.
I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide..."
I wrote a letter to my dad - I wrote, "I really enjoy being here," but I accidentally wrote rarely instead of really. But I still wanted to use it so i crossed it out and wrote, "I rarely drive steamboats, dad - there's a lot of shit you don't know about me. Quit trying to act like I'm a steamboat operator." This letter took a harsh turn right away...
My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light, a bunch of koala bears scatter, but I don't want them too. I'm like, "Hey... Hold on fellows... Let me hold one of you, and feed you a leaf." Koala bears are so cute, why do they have to be so far away from me. We need to ship a few over, so I can hold one, and pat it on its head.
I bought a seven dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.
I opened-up a yogurt, underneath the lid it said, "Please try again." because they were having a contest that I was unaware of. I thought maybe I opened the yogurt wrong. ...Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me... "Come on Mitchell, don't give up!" An inspirational message from your friends at Yoplait, fruit on the bottom, hope on top.
My lucky number is 4 billion, that doesn't come in real handy when your gambling. I'm gonna need some more dice, 4 billion divided by 6, at least.
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An alcoholic beverage that is attained by mixing 1 part Yager to 4 parts Root Beer (preferably A&W or IBC, MUG tastes like shit). This was concocted by none other than Mitch Ortenburg and it's his guarantee "Tastes so good, make you wanna slap yo momma!"
I drank a big Mitch Bitch last night and ended up with my pannies in my vag. (Hypothetically speaking)
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A word based on the Kentucky senator, a Mitch McConnel is an adorable little man who looks like a turtle and seems like he's smart, but then end up filibustering his own bill.
But Dangit! He's cute!
"I would vote you out, but you're too much of a Mitch McConnell"
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