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Chuck Norris

The almighty 'N' in the Alphabet of Manliness.

When children go to sleep, they check under their beds for the boogeyman. The boogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

Ozzy Osbourne bit the head off of a bat. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris bit the head off of a Batman.

Chuck Norris wins the game. (PS you just lost)

Chuck Norris knows where in the world Carmen SanDiego is. Also, he knows where Waldo is.

Chuck Norris let the dogs out.

Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

A long time ago, after eating too much corn, Chuck Norris took the two most massive craps ever recorded in the US. They are now called Nebraska and Iowa.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

In the bush, it is said that four things can kill you: an elephant, a leopard, a Black Mamba, and Chuck Norris. However, only with Chuck Norris is instant death guaranteed.

The Baby Boom was the result of Chuck Norris banging every American woman after kicking some Axis ass.

Chuck Norris can win a game of chess in one move.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a hill outside of Rapid City. It is now known as Mount Rushmore.

Originally, Chuck Norris was the answer to life, the universe and everything in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, but due to copyright issues, the name could not be used. To keep his influence in the answer, Chuck Norris recommended the number 42, the minimum number of people that die from one of his roundhouse kicks.

The most effective form of suicide is typing 'Chuck Norris' into Google and clicking 'I Feel Lucky'

Keep your friends close, then Chuck Norris has to kill them before he gets to you.

by fjp3 July 14, 2009


Chuck Norris

God is Scared of Chuck Norris

Hey has Chuck been in anything lately?

Call Him Chuck Norris he can hear you and he will come for you.

Wait is the Chuck right there.

Were all going to die. RRRUUUUUNNN!!

by HAMMHAMMHAMM September 11, 2018


Chuck Norris

The God himself. The almighty man of whom wrestled 100 bears whilst riding bigfoot as his bitch through a sea of tears made by crying, jealous, divorced men.

I saw a bright light, the most badass person to walk the planet and the one to save us from the terrors of clickbait youtube videos, Chuck Norris...

by niknakpaddywak69 October 30, 2017


Chuck Norris

A Man Concieved By Two Gods who is invincible to all things mortal and who has sex with more woman that earth can Produce

CHuck norris is God and cannot be defeated

by DirtyHarry February 27, 2007


Chuck Norris

superhuman

never compare chuck norris to god, compare god to chuck norris

Gods name is God because the name Chuck Norris was already taken

guy1:dude chuck norris is Godly

guy2:no! God is Chuck Norrisly

by the white snake January 09, 2009


Chuck Norris of Cheap

one that has mastered the art of wallet fumbling, a stingy person or one that will pinch a penny until POTUS 1-6 is squealing like a little girl

I can be a little tight with a buck. Well, “little” may be somewhat misleading. Ok, ok, I've got my black belt in skinflint. I'm the miser master, the Chuck Norris of Cheap and in my spare time, I like to jam with my band, Penny Pinscher and the Tightwads. Seriously, I play a mean frugal horn.

by goose_on_a_roof October 19, 2020


Chuck Norris

THE fu**in mightiest man on earth.

1000 of years ago, there was nothin. Then Chuck Norris came in the game, roundhouse kicked the nothin an said:"Go an get sum work!" This kick is know as the "big bang".

by _Allen_ January 21, 2008