Random
Source Code
Random
"Babe I'm done with my shower!", I said. Then he said he had a surprise. I was in a robe, so I said " I should probably change." Then he said "No, it's ok." With my eyes closed, he leads me to a bed full of roses. He then pats the bed so I got in. I was so excited so I began to kiss him. He gently tuck my hair behind my ear, and smiled. Then we kissed so passionately, that we made out. It felt so good. Then I took off my robe. I removed his shirt and boxers. I pulled my self closer to him. He then rubbed his dick, while I kissed him on his forehead repeatedly. I bent over, then he put his dick in my pussy. Going faster and harder, I moaned, and moaned. He then began to cum, so I faced him, and sucked his penis. He moaned. He licked my pussy, and again I moaned. We ended the night by making out until we fell asleep. That was my first anal sex ever, and I loved it.
3👍 8👎
When two lesbians are engaged in sexual intercourse while using chocolate sauce, they get 2 plates filled with chocolate sauce, one for each ass cheek and dip each one in a plate causing their ass cheeks to look like a pair of big titties!!!
Lesbian #1 "Becky go get the plates and sauce so we can give each other anal titties and then lick them off!!"
Lesbian #2 (Becky) "one second dear! i can't wait!!!"
2👍 8👎
Someone who likes to keep their ass below 0 degrees, and therefore becoming practical for keeping beverages cold.
"Can I grab a beer from your anal fridge?"
"Can I put some mayonnaise in your anal fridge?"
"Have you got any cheese in your anal fridge?"
"Do you put sausages in your anal fridge?"
"My anal fridge smells of gone off fish"
2👍 8👎
The Kentucky anal blaster is when you pour an entire container of KFC gravy in her butthole, and when she farts all the gravy spews out.
Tom "did you hear about when Dave gave Katy a Kentucky anal blaster"
James "Yeah, I heard it was a really mess"
The act of inserting three (not two or one, this is very important to remember) fists into your partner's anus. Please note that this partner can be male or female. Also note that it is highly recommended that the individual receiving Triple Anal Fisting treatment should wipe before hand.
A man had a scratch deep within his anus that could only be cured with the force of three different fists, thus reaching the state of Triple Anal Fisting.
The Comedien Jim Jefferies came up with this. It is April 18th. Everyone else saying it's a differnet day should have to take it up the ass for every single other day on the calander other than the one they incorrectly mentioned as anal sex day.
“Wouldn’t it be nice to have one day that was for men that didn’t cost anything, that everyone could participate in. April 18th, Anal Sex Day. Everyone’s girlfriend or wife has to take it in the ass on April 18th. A month before you’ll be walking around the shopping center saying, ‘Ohh the decorations are up!’ And it’s good because if your bird didn’t take it in the ass, you could do the same thing that women do on Valentine’s Day when they don’t get a gift. You’d go like, ‘Oh me mate Jason and his wife took it in the ass twice. Obviously they’re more connected than we are.”
-Jim Jefferies
6👍 2👎
When you solidify semen by freezing it into nugget shape, then insert it into a woman's anus, waiting for it to melt and leak out before being served to the man eating ass.
Person 1: Last night, my girl made me some tasty anal nutnuggets, it was great.
Person 2: Damn, I wish my girl would dare to do something more than feet shit.