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At a BBQ, The number of Burners on the BBQ decides how many metres away any women must be at all times***
*** All times except whilst bringing an alcoholic beverage to the cook or cooks support.
Rule AUS-1 relates to the goings on at a BBQ
There is 4 Burners on a mans BBQ which means his wife must stay 4 metres away from it, unless she brings him or his support staff a beer, which should be open by the time he gets it, then she must retreat to the required distance.
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Within any form of communication, the use of racially demeaning language is appropriate and politically correct if and only if:
1. The perpetrator (insultee)has a premeditated desire to have the recipient(insulted)recieve the slur (LAW OF PRESENCE)
2. both the perpetrator and the recipient are on a relationship past the acquaintance level.(LAW OF ACQUAINTANCE)
Example 1:
Asian Joe: stop waiting for the change you stupid kike.
Jewish Josh: eh.
(Internal thought process: I am not offended by this since I am both present, and more than just acquainted with Joe)
Example 2: (Joe and Brennan outside the presence of Josh)
Asian Joe: Josh is such a fucking kike. he sat and waited for a penny for 5 minutes.
Irish Brennan: Your rascist.
Example 3: (Joe in a Barmitzvah)
Josh: Joe, I want you to meet my friend Steve.
Asian Joe: Awesome! now I get to add another kike and Josh can stop being such a token.
Steve: (Internal Thought Process: You rascist son of a bitch)
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the Tom Cruise Rule occurs when you are playing beer pong. If you are playing and someone calls a ''celebrity shot'' (a random shot from someone who is not currently in the game) and right before they shoot calls the Tom Cruise Rule and makes it, the opponent must wear sunglasses for the rest of the game, and any other time, that night, he plays the person who made the "Tom Cruise" shot, no exceptions
Yo last night i was playing pong against this kid and out of no where his friend takes a shot and calls the Tom Cruise Rule and i had to wear shades the rest of the match, it sucked.
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The 24 hour rule? This goes hand-in-hand with the three day rule. The 24 hour rule states that you’re supposed to call the girl you slept with within 24 hours of said deed or she knows deep in her heart that you don’t give a flying fuck!
Did he call you after your slumber party?
No... and the 24 hour rule has never failed me. I guess he's just not interested...
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"Vegas rules" is a phrase that comes from the a story where a gambler in Vegas cannot pay his debts and has his arm broken for his trouble. it's Common meaning simply states that if you don't complete a certain task ( Normally paying your share of a bill) "Vegas rules" means an unpleasant and usually violent thing happens to the offending party
P1: Hey can you pay your side of the bill
P2: Erm...sorry nope i have no money
P1: well Vegas rules
P2: Crap!
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What you get when you allow Australian convicts to invent a sport.
They should change it to the CFL (Convict Football League).
- Shockingly minimal skill (kicking and catching a "ball")
- Atrocious off-field antics (Public urination)
- On field goings-on, including testicle grabbing
- Only "sport" in the world to reward failure eg. If the player misses the goal, he is rewarded with one point
- Search 'AFL'on the internet, and you will be amazed at what you will find
- Stabbings at games *are always covered up due to the AFL friendly media...they do a good job*
I am thankful that I have one full Australian father and a non-Australian mother. Thanks to mum I was not kept ignorant (as all Austalians are), to the sheer atmosphere, velocity, adrenaline and awe-inspiring skill that is Football (Soccer *said in a cringing, childish voice*),that full Australians just do not get. I feel sorry for them and for all who do not understand this.
I am sure this is not the case, but Football is what God made legs for :). It is one of the greatest sources of happiness; particulary for the poor, sad children of the earth. Whatever you beleive in (a major problem in our world)just be happy and positive. Please...
I do not like 'australian rules football', I love Football it makes me happy...Oh and I haven't even started on Criket. :)
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if you drop a piece of food on the ground (most likely, something that you've taken a long time to prepare, at a time of crisis right before this needs to be served, or after a long day), you have 5 seconds to pick it up and it will be fine. While it still has germs, these 3 words just may give you peace of mind.
Crap! I just dropped the souffle I've been working on for 3 hours! And Jackie is getting here in 5 minutes! *picks it up* 5 second rule will have to do I guess.
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