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1) the term someone uses when something bad happens
2) what you say after you crashed your car
1) cordelia, "omg why is there a g-string on your roof?"
akmed,"lets just say that jesus didn't take the wheel."
2)officer,"sir how did the crash happen?"
randum guy,"jesus didn't take the weel."
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Another terminology for ya jesus believing godgobbers.Especially of (but not exclusive of)christian evangelicals, pentecostals, revivalist gatherings etc, and people who roll around the aisles and stages at one Benny Hinn's many fraudulent, hoax healing type shenanigans.
Typical of people who never shut up about jesus and their frigging god and other nauseatingly repetitive religious stuff. Also a terminology of all religious devotees of jesus based cults, from catholics to mormons, from anglicans to presbyterians to zionists. The whole a to z of jesus gobbers.
Anybody who is consumed by religion, from popes to priests, bishops to nuns, mother superiors to reverends,etc,etc,.......and all their indoctrinated followers !
We opened our front door and there was 2 white shirted blokes on the verandah. They immediately launched into... "Hello, we are from the church of jesus christ of latter day saints, and we'd like to talk to you about......",,,,,,,,
"ARHH FUCKING HECK !, it's the bloody mormons !" shouted me misses. "Piss off ya dopey fucking jehovah jiving jesus junkies !", I added for good measure. The little lady then gave 'em a parting send off with, "Yeh, fuck off and don't come back, we're Atheists ya silly pricks !"
They never did come back !
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1.(n) when a large cactus has grown in such a way that a chicken appears to be on top, with it's 'wings' spread as though he were crucified.
2.(excl) a expression of surprise, usually positive. can be suffixed with 'christ on a bike', for added impact/effect.
1. sorrel: 'good lord, look at that cactus!'
vinnie: 'that's a sweet cactus chicken jesus!'
2. matt: 'hey guys, we still have some beers left!'
vinnie: 'sweet cactus chicken jesus (christ on a bike)!'
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Expression of suprise upon learning of an amazing piece of trivial knowledge.
Sex Ed: Hermaphrodites are people or animals that have the reproductive organs of both genders.
Redneck: Well, Jesus' Step-Dad!
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Interjection indicative of trouble, something wrong
"Jesus fucking Christ on a bicycle! Slow down, but don't stop." Mr. Wednesday in Neil Gaiman's American Gods, Part 2, Chapter 12.
What one says when scared so much they become angry.
Game: *Jumpscare*
Danny: AHHH!!!
Arin: JESUS FUCK ME CHRIST!
When you can’t make the playoffs in madden so you ask Jesus to take you to the playofffs after Jesus floats magesticly down naked and says “if you want to be taken to the play offs the play offs gotta be taken to you” and then you say ok Jesus do what you gotta do and then he says “ good cause I’m gonna FUCK YOU LIKE I FUCKED THAT PIG” *looks at pig * “oh my god it’s in half was it like that when you fucked it” Jesus says “no” then you ask “how long is it” then Jesus responds in a soft soothing voice “ longer than the pig”
I screamed jesus take me to the playoffs and then Jesus floated down and fucked me with a cock longer than a pig