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alphabetical easements

Assorted "from A to Z" relief-from-standard-requirements allowances, such as:
beesement: Where someone else volunteers to "get a buzz" managing da apiary so dat you can clear yer head for a while
breezement: Where you are allowed to either "fart proudly" or avoid "having yer cheek visited too roughly" by passing air-currents
ceasement: Not having to stop something you enjoy
cheesement: Being allowed to eat softer milk-curd solids instead of firmer-textured selections like Swiss or cheddar
Cleesement: Not having to sit in on a group-viewing of "Fawlty Towers" re-runs
creasement: Not having people fuss if yer clothes aren't ironed
Creesement: Where you are free to treat all Native-American tribes da same way
feesement: Having a service-charge waived
freezement: Not making you shiver yer a** off working outdoors in colder weather
geesement: Not having to deal wif all those annoying big white "honkers" in da farmyard
geezement: Fellow humans' refraining from expressing displeasure about your faults
greasement: Having someone else operate da lubing-gun
jeezement: Same deal as two definitions back
keysement: Not having to DIDDLE wif those FIDDLY little brass lock-opener devices, like if your ride uses a wireless remote
kneesement: What those squishy-foam mats or padded strap-on cups allow yer leg-joints when squatting on hard/rough surfaces
leasement: Not having to sign an agreement to use a dwelling or property
leesement: Being allowed "safe harbor"

More alphabetical easements:
measement: Not having to just think of others all da time
niecement: Not having to deal wif yer kid-brother's bratty pigtailed ankle-biter
peasement: Not having to either shell sphere-shaped veggies or eat yucky cereal
pleasement: Not having to either kowtow to others or speak super-politely
queasement: Being given a rest-break 'cuz you're feeling "rumbly in yer tumbly"
Reesement: Being given an orange-wrapped candy bar to munch on
seesement: Not having to either keep yer eyes open or remember/report what you observe
seizement: Either having others keep their grabby hands off'n you, or having Loctite LB 8150 applied to metal parts
sleazement: Freedom from "shady" dealings
Smeesement: What Peter Pan got whenever Captain Hook's right-hand man was absent
sneezement: What cold-and-flu remedies hopefully will provide
spreesement: Relief from a noticeable uptick in something
squeezement: Not having to be subjected to a hardship or bear-hug
teasement: Having others either respect your feelings or not serve you disgusting herbal-brew
teesement: Not having to play golf, wear undershirts, or cross a certain letter of da alphabet
threesement: Being allowed to just deal wif either two-or-less or four-or-more items
treesement: Not having to deal wif large/tall plants
tweezement: Being allowed to leave your lashes/brows as they grow naturally
wheezement: What Pat McManus gains from following da MFFFF.
zeesement: Being allowed some shut-eye

by QuacksO June 15, 2024


NATO alphabet

An alphabet that consists of words which begin with the letters of the standard English alphabet

Have you ever learned about the NATO alphabet? It goes like this: Alfa, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Echo, Foxtrot, Golf, Hotel, India, Juliet, Kilo, Lima, Mike, November, Oscar, Papa, Quebec, Romeo, Sierra, Tango, Uniform, Whiskey, X-ray, Yankee, Zulu.

by bluestinger66 August 27, 2022


the white alphabet

When you write the alphabet on a girl's forehead with your dick.

"Put the white alphabet on my forehead, not my mouth"

by Mustagbuilder November 18, 2020


alphabetical Arkansas

Wacky 'n' wonderful "A-to-Z" definitions pertaining to da "state wif another state's name inside it" region.

Prime examples of "alphabetical Arkansas" include:
Barkansas: A locale where da dogs are prolifically vocal.
Darkansas: A deep-south demographic where a lot of da citizens are either well-tanned or of African descent.
Harkansas: Where everyone either actively recalls past eras or listens up and pays attention.
Larkansas: A land with lots of songbirds.
Markansas: A state where either Mr. Twain lived, or they make extensive use of chalk and/or Sharpie-pens to identify items, specify locations/measurements, etc.
Narkansas: A "stool-pigeon mecca" where zealots habitually turn anyone over to da Feds who's associated with less-than-legal medicinal/recreational substances.
Parkansas: An area where young folks regularly share delightful "lovers lane" encounters.

by QuacksO October 6, 2024


alphabetical accuracy

Backcuracy: How good you are at operating a vehicle in reverse.
Hackcuracy: How often you "hit da nail on da head" in da sabotage department.
Jackcuracy: (1) How straight and level you get da lifting-device for changing your flat tire, or (2) how good you are at tossing/catching a small ball and spiky playing-pieces.
Knackcuracy: How well you know/perform a particular skill or ability.
Lackcuracy: How expert you are at NOT doing/possessing something.
Mackcuracy: How good a big-rig driver you are.

Additional examples of "alphabetical accuracy" include:
Packcuracy: How neatly/efficiently you load and/or store items.
Quackcuracy: (1) How well you imitate da vocalizations of a duck, or (2) how successfully you convince gullible bystanders of da legitimacy/efficacy of your snake-oil concoctions.
Rackcuracy: (1) How well you assess da status/quantity of merchandise on a display-frame, or (2) how correctly you predict/estimate da size, shape, appearance, warmth/softness, etc. of a gal's boobs.
Sackcuracy: (1) How well you estimate da contents of a bag, or (2) how closely your guess when someone is gonna be given da boot from his present employment.
Stackcuracy: How good you are at piling up items without their falling over again.
Tackcuracy: (1) How closely you estimate da stickiness of a particular adhesive, or (2) how correct you are regarding how well a pushpin holds up an object.
Trackcuracy: (1) How good you are at maintaining good records, or (2) how efficient you are at staying on da rails when shunting freight-cars.
Whackcuracy: How often your palm "lands on target" when swatting someone's butt on his way past you.
Yackcuracy: How valid da content of an extended monologue is.

by QuacksO May 13, 2022


Double alphabet

The belief made by retards that the alphabet exists in a double form and also does not contain the letter L.

A friend of mine believed there was a double alphabet. He was proved wrong on many occasions.

by Uncle Travy Scott December 13, 2020


Alphabet Yakuza

An even way cooler way to say "Alphabet Mafia".

Gae person: "Oh yeah i'm part of the Alphabet Mafia"
even cooler Gae person: "You mean the Alphabet Yakuza, right?"

by simonsimon21 May 13, 2021