Laziness Beard

A scruffy beard, usually grown by a man who claims to have much more important and time consuming things to do than shave, when, in fact he often spends his time playing online video games and dinning at Taco Bell-esque eateries. Most common on college students or people on their own for the first time. Most can not pull it off, unless grown for the optimal period of 3 to 5 months.

Man 1: "Dude you really need to shave, you have one big laziness beard going on!"
Man 2: "I'll shave after I finish this philosophy paper."
Man 1: "You mean after you finish killing all these Nazi zombies?"
Man 2: "Sure, whatever, wanna get some eats?"

Bearded Traveler

When a male purposely grows a large bush. In doing so cuts his bush and leaves the pubes remaining on his body then lets a girl perform oral sex thus the loose pubes getting on her face then making her a "bearded traveler."

"Oh dang that guy just made me his bearded traveler!"

Beer Beard

The required unkept facial hair required for guys to have in order to work in a brewery, micro brewery, or to be a beer "aficionado". Can easily be confused with hipsters or some unemployed slob. Although, one comes to find out that some of them are actually hipsters.

I was rejected entrance into the local micro brewery because I was clean shaven. More importantly, I didn't have the mandatory beer beard. You can't try to do something crazy like being and making choices yourself these days.

Beer Beard {hipster follower slob craft dumb

bearded screwdriver

A alcoholic beverage made of a combination of orange juice and apple flavored whiskey.

man, I drank nothing but bearded screwdrivers last night

Bearded Carl

A previously shaved or waxed vagina that is now unkept and neglected.

Brian: Hey, Kristen, remember that one Vivendi party where you got drunk and showed everyone your Carl?

Kristen: If I was getting more sex, I probably would have done something about my 5 o'clock Carl. But the Ducks haven't lost a game yet so I am growing out my bearded Carl in hopes they'll win the Stanley Cup!

Anus Beard

The growth of hair in the buttocks

My Anus Beard is full, should I shave or wax it?

Bearded Button

An extremely hairy bunghole/anal sphincter. Marked by bushy, coarse hair around the o-ring.

I was hitting her good from behind when I looked down and saw her bearded button.

She wanted me to eat her ass but there was no way I was digging my nose and tongue up in that bearded button without a little landscaping first.