Rural Dictionary

Daisy Puke

Otherwise known as Jessica Simpson this blonde, typically texan Barbie cheerleader-type (taken to extremes) has recently starred in a remake of the dukes of hazzard (which was a crappy show originally). The film should be re-named Jessie's Dry Humping video. The film was a flimsy excuse to be able to show as much of Jess writhing around nearly naked simulating sex with a car (General Lee) when recording "these boots are made for walking" as a spin-off. The song too was bad-to-shit orignally and this cover is even worse. The only reason people (guys) are buying it is cuz of the porny image she portrays. Yep, put out any old crap and make it porny, and it'll still sell.

Lil' ol' Jess has even commented that Daisy Puke is a “good role model for girls” ?!?!
So, now Jess is some kind of cultural psychology expert to be able to quantify a statement like this? If asked to explain she would no doubt give that vacant blonde stare and say something reeled off parrot-fashion that she’s heard someone else say like “oh, she’s so strong “ whatever. This comment comes from a woman who, when being filmed for the newlyweds show, was so insecure about her husband being around “hot” dancers for his new video, went out and spent 700 dollars on new underwear for herself to look even hotter. Jesus.
She had to train for at least 2 hours a day for a few months before filming the good ol’ dukes so there’s another visual lie being perpetuated by media. Many girls will think she just looks like that normally and will think there’s something wrong with themselves, or will take it to the other extreme and become anorexic gym addicts.

As for the video, all she needs to do is shed a couple of very small items of clothing and you have her lapdancing. She must’ve been to a few clubs to be able to copy the moves so accurately (women like her always try to copy the dirty strippers so that they can keep their man – never works cuz all the other women are doing it too). But women watching will just pretend that they don’t know their partners are secretly fucking her in their imaginations.

So, go ahead, release the film and the video but don’t expect me to watch or to let my kids watch it, and above all, don’t expect me to buy into the fuckin outrageous claptrap that daisy d is a role model for my girls. Why do parents have to keep fighting against this garbage?

Spineless mom 1 – “Oh look at daisy simulating sex with that car - isn’t she cute, such good clean fun”.

Spineless dad 1 - Thinks to himself
"Yeah, that’s going to give me something to think about later when I am having sex with you. It’s going to give me a huge hard-on thinking about it later. I’ll jerk off once or twice over her later.”
Spineless mom 1 – “Did you hear me darling? You look miles away. She is such a good role model for our little Britney and Christina don’t you think? She’s so strong and uuuhhhhh…hmmm… anyway, we’ll get training bras for them now, start sending them to the gym, and to the surgeon to plan the boob jobs, teach them how to wear make-up and false blonde hair, bring some strippers and lapdancers home for them to watch and learn, and give them plenty of other images to look at on the internet - (Alternatively, have them join the mickey mouse club) - and then when they are 18 they can get a job in a sleazy Podunk country hick bar where they will walk/dance around half-naked serving drinks and basking in the knowledge that all the guys just want to fuck them. Oh yes, let’s get them started now! I can’t wait to tell all our friends about the bright future for our girls!
What? What are pedophiles?”

Keep your fucking lies to yourself Daisy Puke.

by Hot Chic September 14, 2005

186👍 80👎

Daisy Puke

Daisy Chain

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whoopsie daisy

Daisy Chainsaw

Daisy Dukes

eating daisies