Someone who hoards spunk (seamen)
Collects it and Laps it up.
She’s a bit of a spunk merchant, she can’t get enough of the white stuff, shes constantly got a cock in her gob.
A Mouse Merchant is a person who gains all of their victories through pure luck and fraudulent circumstances, therefore making all of their wins “Mickey Mouse” Wins.
Jonas just won another game by camping at max height and avoiding confrontation all game, he’s a real Mouse Merchant!
A Venetian* resident merchant is one who is often found in all walks of life, but majorly in areas of potential power, and is one who uses his knowledge to keep non-merchants in a stasis of unproductive activity.
Often, he tries to prevent unpopular truths from being known so that only merchants may gain and maintain power.
"I was talking about making money at my job and resident merchant told me that making money was useless and that I should volunteer for transsexuals instead"
"There's always a resident merchant lurking. I told you to beware.."
When you make out with someone under 13
Aye that boy William a Child Merchant
Lady of dubious looks and morals. Often found frequenting Walkabout in Bristol circa 2000-2006. Many of which go on to get ploughed that evening.
Those two filth merchants better turn up to the hotel organised cocktail making tomorrow. They'll get something in their drink they didn't bargain for.
Someone that takes pictures with their face at more than a 45 degree angle.
Did you see Olly's selfie? He really is a sideways merchant isn't he!
Safety Car Merchants are drivers in Formula One who often use the safety car to win races, or in rare cases, World Championships. One notable example of a safety car merchant is Fraudstappen, who robbed the 2021 championship off the back of a fraudulent call during a safety car from world class robber Michael Masi. Fraudstappendogs claim this championship is legitimate, even though it wasn’t.
Fraudstappendog: MAX IS MY FAVOURITE DRIVER!!!!
Person: Your favourite driver is a safety car merchant
1👍 1👎